HANDS OFF!
by T-Virus Within
Summary: After finally ridding herself of her puddin', Harley Quinn returns to the only one she trusts...and falls right into Ivy's master plan. Joker, however, still has a card or two to play...rated to be safe.
1. The Jester's Courage

**Author's note: I must have spent 20 minutes trying to figure out the proper spelling for the word 'bakey'…if I still got it wrong, I apologize. =) This is my first fanfic posted on the site, so review your little hearts out.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to DC and their respective entities. I don't own anything, much to my dismay.**

**Hands Off**

Chapter 1: The Jester's Courage

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" _FWWOOOSSSHHH_

The sheer temperature of the ice water that poured over the sleeping blonde was enough to induce a coronary to the average person, but in Harley's world, this was just another tiny indication that she had overslept. It rarely happened, but when it did, Joker made damn sure she suffered the consequences in a manner most fitting….and amusing. Harley's eyes shot open and she leapt off the floor, her brain not quite computing what just happened, and why she suddenly felt like she was frenching Mr. Freeze, not that she ever wanted to.

"Ah…wha…puddin…" was all she was able to stammer out. She could have probably formed a complete sentence if her skin wasn't aching from the cold and it wasn't so early…what time was it, anyway?

"As much as I hate to do so, my dear", the Joker said with his trademark maniacal grin plastered on his ghost-white flesh as he tossed the bucket at her, "I feel the need to remind you of the way we do things around here."

He strolled over to Harley and placed an arm around her shoulder, and gazed at her still-stunned expression, her teeth chattering all the while. "Ooohh, that reminds me, I really must get the boys to get me more chatter teeth from storage. Can't have too many available, you know?" With that, he threw his head back and released a laugh that some would describe as torture…if they were being nice about it.

"Puddin", she finally got out of her nearly blue lips, "what'd I do?" Whatever she had done to bring the wrath of Joker down upon her, she must have done in her sleep. It felt like she just laid her head down a few moments ago. Usually if he wanted her awake, a swift fancy shoe to the back was all it took, so it made no sense. The Joker rarely made sense, however.

"Why Harley, don't we even know when we screw up anymore? I realize it happens so often that it's hard to keep track of every single glaring failure, but I'm surprised at you". His hand on the arm around her gripped her shoulder and squeezed like a vice grip while the smile on his face slowly receded into a frown. "And at what time does the day start, hm?"

Time? Day start? Hm? Oh no. _Oh no oh no oh NO._ Her eyes widened as they shot to the near-antique clock hanging crookedly from the far wall. She stared at the two rusted hands. More particularly, the numbers they were pointing to.

"10:15" she whispered to herself. Oh god, was she in for it now. She had NEVER slept in this late before. Once she had missed her alarm by 2 minutes, and Joker had her on bomb-building detail for a month. The last one nearly blew her head off, which was more fortunate than the fates of her 3 henchmen assistants. Like it was her fault that at that exact moment, Bugs handed Elmer an exploding carrot. She's just a sucker for good comedy.

"The day begins, you dolt, when I get up." Joker said, grabbing Harley by both arms and shaking her violently. "Not a moment later, not a second later, not a SPLIT-second later!" One hand moved from her shoulder and clamped powerfully around her neck. Joker moved his face to within an inch of Harley's, his eyes boring holes into her terrified pools of blue. "Such a stupid mistake, after years of training and re-training, can't go unpunished." His second hand moved from her shoulder and joined the first around her throat.

"Please…puddin…do better….promise…" she sputtered out, as the thoughts of why she was put into this scenario replayed in her mind, the green of Joker's hair jolting her memory. A smile crept over her face as she thought it over hazily in her oxygen-deprived state.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

She had to see her again. The feelings inside of her were too much to ignore. The emerald skin that shone with the sun, the crimson locks that Harley could run her fingers through indefinitely and the venom-filled lips that promised death to any other, but welcomed Harley's with intensity and passion. The features dwelled forever within the depths of her mind, cemented in love and adoration for one that gave her so much purpose and meaning. When Harley was with her, she was a PART of something. Something grand. She could also appreciate never being slapped, choked, or used as a human shield when the lead started to fly.

The previous night, after making sure Joker was fast asleep after a feast of turkey and wine (and 4 extra-strength sleepy time pills in the biscuits), she quickly and quietly exited Joker's current hideout. This particular hideaway was, as usual, in the unused industrial district. The vacant warehouses and factories lined the roads like silent spectators of a parade, and the haze of Gotham's pollution blotted out the moon. No plants grew here, aside from the odd thorny weed that poked it's way through the cracking cement. Harley could find beauty even in that, the lessons and lectures retained well from her friend.

Her footsteps thudded loudly down the street, even as she tried to soften them. The echo ricocheted back and forth, no doubt alerting anyone around of her impending approach. Tonight, she chose speed over stealth, not wanting to waste a single precious moment of this hard-won time away from the man she once longed for…mesmerized by his slick ramblings and devil-may-care attitude. Yes, she could still remember that fateful day of walking through Arkham Asylum and seeing him in all his self-proclaimed glory…standing there behind bullet-proof glass and laying on the charm. She was quick to succumb to his wiles, and of course, the rest is history.

Harley arrived at the Gotham Botanical Gardens sooner than she expected to, winded and sweaty. Her white makeup ran and stained the neckline of her harlequin suit, but she didn't care. She knew the object of her affection wouldn't care either. Harley bet to herself that her friend wouldn't care if she showed up in a pink bunny outfit, and chuckled at the prospect of knocking on the door in such a manner, and how her friend would just roll her eyes with a sigh and a hand weaving through her hair. Harley still wore her smile, wide and true, as she knocked on the door. Surprisingly, a figure answered almost immediately, as if she was expecting her. Looking at her from the doorway with a smile was her dearest friend in the whole wide world, Poison Ivy.

They talked for hours, long into the night and into the wee hours of the morning. Curled up on Ivy's sofa, the conversation flowed so easily between them, the pair drawn into each other's words with genuine interest. Suddenly, Harley reluctantly realized the time. Worried that Joker would rise and find Harley M.I.A., she had gotten up to leave when Ivy grabbed her hand.

"Stay with me." Harley remembered Ivy saying. "I need you so much more than he does." The look of vulnerability and pain within her eyes was unmistakable.

"I can't, not yet." Harley had said, her voice catching in her throat. "I'm…not ready." The truth was that the thought had crossed her mind a time or two…or twelve…. but Joker was just too dangerous to leave. He would come for her, plant Goddess ally or no, and kill her. He would find a way. He always did. No one left him in the lurch. Besides, she loved him and that's all that mattered…didn't it?

Ivy just sighed and hung her head. No other words had been exchanged that night between them, but as she exited the Gardens, Harley look one last lingering look back. There, on the upper floor window, was Ivy staring back at her, one hand pressed lightly against the glass. Harley had no idea how long she stood there and watched, but as she raised her own hand close to her body and extended her fingertips towards her, Ivy abruptly turned and faded into the shadows. With her cheeks flushed and tears pricking the corners of her eyes, she left.

Barely making it back before sunrise, Harley stealthily snuck back into her 'room' (in reality, it was just a corner of the kitchen with a small strip of faded and frayed carpet) and curled up into a ball, burying her face into her knee. Ivy's piercing green eyes still haunted her, and with a few gentle sobs, she drifted off to sleep and into a land with towering trees and colourful flowers….and lots and lots of Ivy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Dying with a smile on your face? Ahh, you read my diary, didn't you?"Joker cackled as Harley snapped back from bliss to her out-of-control situation. Joker's hands were still gripped tightly around her windpipe, and Harley's vision was fading in and out. She knew this was it, Joker was beyond all control. She was about to die in this grimy little corner of so-called paradise.

"No", she thought erratically, "this isn't how it ends." Her mind raced furiously, and landed on two options: either deal with certain death now, or face probable death later. The choice was an easy one.

Harley's hand reached into her pocket and fingers gently tightened around her object of salvation. She couldn't believe her luck…if Joker hadn't been currently choking the life from her, it might have been a decent day after all. With her body giving out (it had been nothing short of a miracle that she was even still alive. Life with Joker certainly toughened her up), she slipped the joy buzzer on her middle finger.

Summoning all the strength she had left, she slapped Joker across the face, scorching him and sending him reeling back. Clutching his badly burned cheek, he howled in agony as he stumbled around the kitchen, knocking over and spilling everything in his path.

Harley collapsed, gasping for oxygen. Her lungs burned and her eyes watered, but she was able to quickly regain her normal breathing pattern. Gazing across the room, she saw the Joker still fumbling about, one hand smashing everything he could reach, the other wedged firmly in the toaster. She couldn't help but smile at the hilarity of the Joker's humiliation.

"Oh gawd, I'm so sorry Puddin'!" she squeaked, her voice hoarse and laboured. "Ya didn't leave me any choice…ahh… uh… I better go!" The previous smile she wore just seconds earlier faded into a terrified frown as she dropped the joy buzzer and backed up towards a nearby window.

"Don't you DARE leave!" Joker shrieked, trying to regain his control of the situation, but failing miserably. "I'll find you! You can't hide from me! You know what I'll do to you and that plant bitch of yours! No stone left unturned, no leaf left unburned!"

"YOU LEAVE IVY OUT OF THIS!" Harley screamed at the top of her lungs. If her throat hadn't been ravaged by Joker's maniacal hands moments ago, it would have probably shattered every glass and window in the hideout. Instead, it came out just a fraction louder than a whisper. "She has nothing to do with this….please…" Hot tears began cascading down her cheeks. The thought of Harley being responsible for Ivy's demise was overwhelming, and it made her nauseous.

The Joker slowly rose up, eyes closed. The left side of his face was horribly burned, a large black-and-red impact zone glowed in the dim kitchen light. All the while however, a grin crept over his face, ever-growing while he stood until his pearly whites stretched from ear to ear. A giggle erupted from his throat, starting softly but quickly raising in volume. The giggle swiftly turned into full-blown laughter…laughter so loud that Harley was certain it could be heard from all corners of Gotham City at once. She covered her ears, but to no avail. The laugh pierced the barrier as if it were made of wet facial tissues and drilled it's way into her brain.

Her face grimacing, she slowly slid the window open. The Joker made no attempt to stop her. Harley knew he already had her ultimate demise in the works, and that he would have his vengeance someday…but not today. It had to be elaborate…way over the top. A death so cruel and complicated that the only reasonable response to it would be fits of homicidal laughter. She had time...precious little time. She needed to warn Ivy and set things right. To see her and touch her. To LOVE her. Her time was short, the countdown had officially begun. No more living in denial about her feelings for the green-skinned Goddess. It was now or never. Ivy…she had to get to Ivy. Nothing else mattered anymore.

Her lithe figure slipped out window and took off in a sprint towards the Botanical Gardens, Joker's piercing laughter floating out the window and carrying on the morning breeze after her.

**Yes, the story has been altered dramatically from the original version. What do you think? Please review, it's the only way I learn! =D**


	2. The Message

**Author's note****: Yes, I realize how horribly overdue this chapter is. Will a thousand apologies and a million tears make up for it? Yeah, enough of that…go get your read on…and leave a review, if it's not too much trouble!**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to DC and their respective entities. I don****'****t own anything, much to my dismay. **

**HANDS OFF**

Chapter Two: The Message

The morning sun still hung low in the hazy sky, bathing the battered industrial landscape in a sickly yellow that would normally send the average citizen running for a respirator (or a one-way ticket to elsewhere in the world). The crumbling sidewalks and decrepit monuments of corporate greed seemed to emanate the essence of pollution itself, burning nostrils and watering eyes. No birds serenaded the morning's homecoming, the poor things unable to collect the bare necessities of life in such a sterile and putrid environment.

However, despite the toxic atmosphere, evidence of Gotham's underworld and undesirables was still plain as day. Various destitute souls slowly marched up and down the streets and alleys, no true destination in mind. They would stop at the odd refuse container, tear the lid off, and root through in search of scraps, cans, and discarded million-dollar lottery tickets. Haggard and reeking of cheap liquor and desperation, these burdens of society were accustomed to the saturated industrial district.

Not only the impoverished were out and about, though. Low-level street toughs cased just about every corner, their greedy eyes always on the lookout for another score. They occupied themselves by chomping week-old toothpicks, sucking the most foul-smelling cigarettes down past the filter, or whistling some ridiculous melody. They would always inquire passers-by if they needed "sumthin' for 'dem lonely nights"…the drug-trade ever present. The thugs and toadies had little fear of law enforcement in this part of the city. The police wouldn't be caught dead in this area without a fleet of M1-A1 tanks and Comanche choppers patrolling the pallid sky. Aside from the extremely rare ruffian round-up by the Bat, the thugs had complete control, and assaulted, dealt to, and robbed whomever they damn well felt like…as long as Joker didn't have a problem with it. He employed the vast majority of the dealers in town, after all.

Despite all the dangers, human and environmental alike, they did not deter one specific blonde gothamite. She was creeping down unnamed streets and undisturbed alleyways in a vain attempt to keep a low profile.

Harley nervously poked her head out from around yet another building corner and peered down the streets in every direction. She was wringing her hands together slowly, and her stomach was doing flip-flops. At every glance, she half-expected to see the Joker's trademark purple and green van come careening around the nearest corner to pump her guts full of lead and steel. Harley had just assumed that Joker would delay her demise by concocting some grandiose plan, but what if she was wrong? That's the thing about Joker; just when you think you have him all figured out, he throws you a curveball…or a baby with a time bomb sewed to it. Sensing that the way was clear, she bolted out into the open and charged to the next alley.

With a rancid, rusted dumpster covering her visibility from the street, Harley pressed her bottom against the wall behind her and placed her hands on her knees. Leaning forward, she gasped for air. The stifling atmosphere was nearly choking her as she tried inhaling deeply. Finally regaining at least some of her breath, Harley looked across from her to see a cracked, grungy mirror that was propped up against a pile of abandoned boxes. For the first time in the past two days, Harley saw her own reflection.

She barely recognized the ragged figure staring back at her. Her trademark harlequin costume was in desperate need of maintenance. Various small rips and tears throughout her body, arms, and legs exposed pale flesh, some with pink gashes that glowed angrily in the limited light. Dirt and god-knows-what stained her suit as well, doing nothing but adding to her haggard appeal. Her head was missing her hood and makeup, (although could not recall ever removing either since her rendezvous with Ivy), and her hair was tried into two very messy pigtails by two red and black ties. The tuff of blonde hair over her forehead was matted and sweaty, giving the impression Harley had just run the Gotham City Marathon or something equally ridiculous. Dirt smudged her face as well. _What did I do, run through a pig pen on the way here? Sheesh. _Her normally sparkling and radiant blue eyes looked sunken and dull, obvious indications of the stress and emotion that resulted from the past few days…and the years of Joker and Batman abuse probably didn't help matters much either.

All of this, however, was, in Harley's mind, small potatoes. She'd looked worse after the majority of failed heists and hostage situations in her 'career' to date. What did catch her bloodshot eye, however, ran the entire length of her swan-like neck.

Harley slowly made her way to the mirror and plopped to her knees before it, eyes never drifting from the object of her undivided attention. She leaned in close to the mirror, lifted her chin slightly, and removed one of her gloves. Even in the dim light of the alley, Harley could clearly see the mark of Joker's homicidal rage that adorned her once beautiful skin. Deep blackish purple finger-sized marks ran horizontally on either side of her throat, with a lighter solid purple mass running down the front. With her gloveless hand, she prodded the marks ever so gently. A dizzying level of pain radiated from where she touched and her face winced at the unwanted (but all too familiar) sensation. Not yet satisfied, she reached around to her back and began unzipping her costume in order to get a better view of the extensive damage.

"Ooh yah, daddy like! Nice and slow now, ah gots all day!"

Harley's zipper quickly closed as she rose so quickly that her head swam with dizziness. With a defiant glare adorning her features, she stared at the source of the intruder. A man with black skin and a goatee was leaned up against the side of the dumpster Harley had chosen to conceal herself with. A wide smile exposing a gold tooth plastered his ugly mug, and white sunglasses rested over his eyes. He was dressed in tight blue jeans, a purple silky shirt and a blue denim vest that covered it. Fancy Italian boots adorned his feet, and a moderate gold chain hung loosely around his neck. All in all, Harley though he looked like the poster boy for some vintage stereotypical movie thug.

"Wut ya stop fah? I ain't get no show, and I ain't leavin' 'til I gets me one!" His smile faded as he slid a medium-sized pistol out from behind his back.

Harley stepped forward, her eyes fixed on the thug's own. A few steps were all it took before the man's jaw fell slightly and his eyes widened behind his odd sunglasses. One glance of Harley's outfit was all it took to turn the man from a dangerous aggressor into a grovelling worm.

"Whoa, hey, didn't know it wuz you, Ms. Quinn," the man quickly spouted off as he slid the pistol into his back and raised his other hand in front of him, the palm facing Harley. "Respect..respect for ya…and da Boss too! He around? I be grabbin' mad stacks fo' the cause." He held out an open backpack for Harley to inspect.

Harley didn't flinch.

"All 'dere, e'ry cent! No skimmin' like dose othah punks do! See?" His smile returned, although it was more nervous than content. A bead of sweat ran down the length of his dark forehead, down his cheek and soaking into his collar. Another pursued it.

Again, Harley remained silent and stone-faced.

"Uh…so…da boss…he here?" The man nervously glanced over his shoulder.

"Nope"

"Where is he?"

Harley couldn't believe such lack of respect. You don't ask Harley Quinn questions. You just don't. It was unheard of. You don't just march up to famous movie or rock stars and ask them about whatever is on your mind, do you? Rather than murder him on the spot, she decided to play along for now.

"Don't know, don't care." Her eyes never left the thug's.

"M-maybe I better go find him den…ooh, hehe. Did y'all have a fight again? Gave y'all the boot? Take da bag if ya want. Find a hotel for a coupla days…or, ya know, y'all can bunk wit me, baby." His disgusting smile widened, the gold tooth fully visible now. "…oh, and bring my name up to da boss when you throw yourself back at him."

Harley was certain that steam was shooting from her ears. She was _barely_ able to keep her composure. Her innards shook with a raw fury that wanted nothing more than to escape and shred the animal before her into a billion bloody pieces. Somehow, she remained straight-faced, and even quirked a tiny smile (mental images of Ivy in sexy lingerie did wonders to melt the tension away).

"Gun." Harley finally said after a moment or so of silence. She held out her still-gloved hand.

The thug quickly drew it and handed it over, grip towards Harley.

She looked it over, admiring the shape and feel of it. Her smile widened as their eyes locked again.

The thug's smile faded yet again. He dabbed his forehead with a white rag he pulled from his pocket. He looked as though he would wet himself at any moment.

"Uh..I'm wit ya! Hey! Jus' a sec!" The thug stammered as Harley lazily raised the gun up and levelled it with the crook's face. "W-what're ya doin?"

"Sending a message."

_BOOOOM_

The crook lay half-buried in the filth and refuse of the alleyway, his left eye missing (as well as a good portion of the back of his head). A spray of pinkish red blood stained the dumpster, adding a splash of color to the dull and rusted metal. Harley just stood over the fallen gangster with her trademark smile adorning her face, the barrel of the gun still raised. Thin wisps of smoke trailed out from it's muzzle, and quickly vanished into the nasty air.

"Harley Quinn ain't Joker's squeeze no more. Not now, not ever again!" she exclaimed aloud. Laughing, she raised her hands up and spun around in some sort of unbalanced victory dance. She pictured Ivy running up to her and wrapping those lovely green arms around her. She'd congratulate Harley again and again, telling her how proud she was. Finally, Ivy would inch her face closer and closer to Harley's…and slowly plant a firm kiss on her trembling lips, sealing their bond forever.

Harley finally snapped out of her trance some time later. She stood alone in all of the filth Gotham City had to offer. Glancing again at the fallen thug, a smirk crossed her lips. She tossed the pistol on his reddened vest and knelt over the backpack he tried to offer her earlier. She rooted around and counted the bills.

"645 dollars," she said aloud. "I think I earned this."

Harley rose and turned to leave, but stopped suddenly. Returning to the thug, she prodded inside his pockets and pulled out four more hundred dollar bills. Shaking her head, she stuffed them into the backpack. Taking one final glance at the body, she turned again to leave.

"Not skimming any, huh?"

Strolling out of the alley, Harley felt a renewed sense of spirit. She somehow felt stronger and more empowered; almost….liberated. She stretched her arms over her head, interlocked her fingers, and cracked her knuckles. The air seemed fresher all of a sudden. The sun shone just a shade brighter. Harley noticed the odd insect buzzing about, and the spiny weeds poking up from the sidewalk seemed just a tinge greener and healthier. She inhaled deeply through her nose, smiling all the while. She lowered her hands and outstretched them to either side of her body.

"Red, baby, get ready! Harley-girl's a-comin' home for good!" she exclaimed loudly, looking up high and grinning widely.

Harley no longer glanced nervously about, as she did not two hours ago. She didn't slink from alley to alley, anticipating a Jokermobile assault. Best of all, the flip-flops her stomach now did were caused by the thoughts of her love, Poison Ivy. The feelings of utmost dread were no longer present at this time. Harley knew the Joker was still out there…plotting, planning, biding time and laughing…but, for the first time in her crime-riddled existence, she simply didn't care. Ivy was the only thing she needed now.

The wide smile never left her features throughout the remainder of her journey back to the surely-awaiting open arms of her darling crimson haired goddess.

**A/N: This chapter was actually not even planned. I just randomly got the idea and ran with it. I think it works pretty well, but let me know what you think! **

**I realize that there isn't much HarleyxIvy yet, but rest assured, it's a-comin'. Please review!**


	3. Interlude: Boiling Point

**A/N****: Yay, an interlude! It's taking me longer than expected to complete each chapter as I see fit, so your continued patience and support is, as always, appreciated.**

**HANDS OFF**

Interlude: Boiling Point

"Someone should go check on 'em. Haven't heard much from in there for almost a day…not since he sealed himself in after the girl left."

"Be my guest. I'm not goin' in there. That guy's batshit crazy. You heard all the freaky stories about him."

"Careful what you say, man. Talkin' like that'll get you on his shitlist. We've both seen what happens to people that can't keep their mouths shut."

"Yeah, I still got no idea how he gets 'em to smile after death. Creeps me out every time."

A thin, middle-aged man ran a shaky hand through blonde strands as he and his accomplice stood in a dimly lit hallway. His eyes, worn and bloodshot from years of underworld wheelings and dealings, spoke volumes of downright dread of the entire situation. They squinted under furrowed brows before sliding closed from the result of a deep sigh. Reaching into the front pocket of a cheap sky blue blazer that appeared to have been fished from the gutter, he pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes out, as well as a small book of matches. With trembling fingertips, he plucked a single ragged cigarette out of the pack and brought it to his mouth. Then, with an action perfected from years of tobacco abuse, he struck a match and inhaled deeply, setting the smoke alight. The sickly combined scent of sulfur and burning tobacco hung heavily in the musty air.

After taking a number of long drags, his hands ceased their incessant quivering. His eyes shifted to the large iron door before them, then returned to capture the gaze of his associate.

"If he's dead or somethin', we need to know" the blonde man said softly.

The second man simply shrugged. Portly, balding, and unkempt, he seemed quite disinterested about the entire situation, as well as his surroundings. It would seem as though he would rather return to the thoroughly-used barstool of a strip club than to ensure the safety and well-being of his boss, The Joker.

The hallway they stood in, now saturated in the scent of burnt tobacco, was but a fraction of Joker's hideout in the industrial district. Not many underlings had the courage to get this close to Joker's personal chamber, and with good reason. The bars and alleys were always abuzz with the tales of Joker's henchman abuse, torture, and ultimate destruction. The ones that dared to venture to Joker's doorstep uninvited usually ended up with the worst of it.

"Come on," the blonde exclaimed to his apparently dumbstruck partner. "just a quick look, then we'll leave." He took another drag from his cigarette.

"Look Johnny, if you wanna put yer head in a noose, then go right ahead. I'm not in any rush to open the door to a damn horror show." The older, overweight man leaned in close and lowered his voice to almost a whisper. "I know you admire the hell outta him and all, but he's a f-kin' psycho. Trust me, just walk away. It's not worth it. I don't wanna find you sealed up in a barrel at the bottom of Gotham Harbour a week from now."

Johnny shook his head, then turned his back to the other man.

"He might be hurt or somethin'. I gotta know for sure."

Sighing, the man just shrugged.

"Suit yourself, man. Heh, Tina's dancin' tonight. Sure I can't convince ya otherwise? She's a fox, and I know yer ol' lady ain't around."

Johnny just waved him off.

"_Ok Johnny, nice and easy,_" he thought to himself as he stared at the neon green door handle. "_You can do this. He won't kill ya just for seein' if he's okay…right?"_

With another haul from the cigarette perched in his lips for luck, he knocked on the door.

No one answered, and not a sound was made from the opposite side.

Furrowing his brow, Johnny knocked harder, half-expecting some sort of circus-inspired trap to sever his cranium or set him ablaze.

Again, nothing stirred.

Mustering every ounce of courage he had within his thin frame, the weary man slid one hand around the door handle. Surprisingly, nothing electrocuted or poisoned him as he did so. The Joker was notorious for booby-trapping his personal chambers. Pulling the handle, the door creaked open, and Johnny poked his head in the door even as his mind screamed at him to flee for his life.

The main lights, as well as various desk-mounted lamps, were off. The only thing visible was a small black and white television, flickering an endless stream of static and bathing the immediate area around it in a ghastly cloak of artificial light. Between Johnny and the television was the dimly-lit silhouette of a man, bright green hair and pallid skid visible even in the limited light. Seated in a chair and immobile, he appeared to be staring at something on the left side of the room that was invisible to Johnny.

"Uh…boss…" Johnny stuttered, "you ok?"

Joker didn't move.

Johnny scratched his head nervously.

"Hadn't seen you in a day…the boys were wonderin' if you were meetin' with anyone today. We're ready to roll when y-

"What's your name, my boy?" Joker's voice interrupted him as Johnny's voice halted immediately. The maniac was still staring to the left and didn't move a muscle.

"J-Johnny…Johnny Frost."

"Well Johnny Johnny, be a team player and flip that light switch for me, hm? It's a good thing you came along when you did, my new friend. I've grown dreadfully bored with the snow channel. Nothing but reruns these days." Joker giggled to himself.

Johnny, after fumbling around in the dark for a moment, found the light switch. With a flick of his wrist, the ceiling burst forth with blinding light, forcing him to shield his eyes. After a few seconds of adjustment, the man blinked and lowered his hand…and nearly dropped dead of a coronary. The blood in his veins froze solid at the sight before him. All the thug could do was stare through wide eyes as the cigarette between his lips drooped lower and lower until finally sliding from his mouth and landing on the wooden floor between his feet.

_Mother of God…_

Every single side of the large room, including the ceiling, was covered in black and white photographs and newspaper clippings. Green and red words painted on various articles marked the walls as well. Sticking out of several of the photos were knives, axes, and arrows. Bullet holes also peppered the walls. Although they appeared random at first, at second glance, Johnny noticed the pictures all shared the same subject…the only subject matter that could drive the psychopath even further into the awaiting embrace of madness.

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy.

The room itself was in shambles. The mattress in the far corner of the room has long, deep cuts in it, with piles of down strewn about the floor. Furniture lay scattered and broken, and papers of various discarded plans and schemes that would never come to fruition were shredded, torn, and flung like confetti.

Joker still sat rigid in his wooden chair, staring. When Johnny finally saw what it was he was staring at, his knees buckled and his entire body convulsed in utter terror. The room seemed to spin wildly as he tried to regain some shred of composure.

A full-body female mannequin stood in the center of the room. It was nude, aside from a certain red and black hood adorning the head, complete with tassels. Hastily drawn makeup smeared it's lips and cheeks. The mannequin itself was a sight of utter horror, reflecting the rage and unforgiving wrath of Joker.

Both eyes had several large rusted nails pounded into each carved-out socket, and it's shoulders, face, and body had various blunt force trauma marks, likely derived from the broken baseball bat at the mannequin's artificial feet. There were several deep knife slashes across it's throat, down the body, and all over the face. Several gunshot wounds (some pistol, some shotgun pellets) charred the body. Razor wire wound itself around both legs, tightly constricting the would-be victim's limbs and digging deep into plastic. The large blade used to slash the throat and face lie embedded in the mannequin's forehead nearly shoved in up to the handle. Spent casings, empty cans of spray paint, and pill bottles littered the floor around the mannequin and Joker's chair.

The Joker was obviously mesmerized with his own vile handiwork.

Johnny, snapping from his horrified stupor, patted the front of his pants.

_Thank god, didn't piss myself._

He had been so engrossed in his surroundings that the man hadn't noticed that Joker had turned his head to flash his lackey a wide grin

"Don't you like it, Johnny Johnny? It's a masterpiece, I tell you. People will come from the world over to revel in it's glory.

Joker, with a creak, rose from the chair. He strolled over to Johnny and placed an arm around his sagging shoulders.

"It's a statement, as most art is. It shows what happens to those who think for themselves…who think they can…HEY!" He snapped his fingers in front of Johnny's eyes. "You're listening, right? This is important. Paying attention will make you very…not dead." His eyes narrowed.

"Uh…y-yeah…statement…"

"Good! Oh, you sure know how to please father bear. Such a smart kid you are, Johnny Johnny!" Joker's grin returned as he squeezed Johnny's shoulder tight and shook him gently.

"Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, my little piece of art here shows what happens to people who think they can bite the hand that feeds them. Certain souls in this dreary workaday world try to take it upon themselves to branch out on their own…and burn the bridges that have supported them for so long." Joker's eyes narrowed as he stared at his handiwork yet again. "These people are not long for this world, Johnny Johnny. They may run and cry and seek out leafy friends to protect them, but in the end, it's always the same result."

Johnny, finally able to assemble a full sentence for the first time since he entered Joker's room, spoke up.

"W-we can go get her, boss. Me an' the boys…won't take long. She can't be far."

Joker tapped his chin as his eyes floated among the various knife-ridden photos adorning the walls, apparently in deep thought. He breathed deeply as he mentally relived the clown girl's criminal past within the depths of his psyche. All the failed plans…the botched robberies…the Arkham stints…it was all her fault. Incompetent, worthless, and just plain moronic were just a few of the words Joker would use to describe Harley Quinn.

"NOPE!" Joker exclaimed, smiling widely again at the man his arm still hugged. "The dullard won't last a day without her master. She's far too foolish to make it on her own, and her only 'friend' hates humans too much to shelter her for long." He laughed loudly an inch from Johnny's ear, causing the man to cringe. "Heehee, she'll come crawling back soon enough, you'll see Johnny Johnny…and when she does…" he pointed at the mannequin and giggled again.

Johnny Frost fumbled with his words as he wracked his brain looking for something to say.

"Yeah boss, you're right…a-anything you need 'til then?"

Joker released his grip on the man, much to his relief. He tiptoed back to his chair and leaned over the backrest, once again smitten by his masterpiece.

"Hmmmm…..why don't you….take the day off, my boy?"

Johnny froze in uncertainty.

"Such a wonderful day shouldn't be wasted peddling drugs or robbing old bitties. In fact, I can hear the bar calling your silly name!" Joker reached into his pocket and plucked out several green bills. He rose from his position, stepped over to Johnny and shoved them into the pocket that once housed his cigarettes. "Have a good time on your dear friend Joker, and remember that this old clown loves you." He embraced Johnny for a moment before moving back to the chair, retaking his original seated position facing the mannequin. "Oh, and please turn the lights off when you go, hm?"

"A-anything you want, boss." Johnny stammered. "As long as you're alright."

"Never better, my boy…" Joker's smile faded as he returned to his mental fantasy land. "Never better."

Johnny Frost wasted no time flicking the light off and slipping out the door.

The overweight, balding man was waiting for him.

"Still alive, I see. What did he do?"

Johnny smirked as he lit another cigarette. After taking a long drag, he walked past his associate, turning his head as he did so.

"He gave me the day off."

**A/N****: I know this interlude may peeve a lot of people off, but I got the idea and HAD to work it in somehow. I think the Joker deserves it…oh, and only hardcore Joker fans know the origins of Johnny Frost and how he is related to Joker's story. I did not create him. If you're curious as to where he came from, feel free to ask! As always, a review or comment is always appreciated. Also, a very special thanks goes to Ice Dragon 3 for your continued support and involvement in the story. =D I owe ya one!**


	4. Game on

**A/N****: The plot thickens. This chapter took me a while to get just the way I wanted, and hopefully, you readers will enjoy it. Long chapter, lots of detail.**

**Disclaimer****: All characters (except one) belong to DC and their respective entities. I don't **

**own anything, much to my dismay. (I'll explain at the end).**

**HANDS OFF**

Chapter Three: Game On

Her radiant smile persisted, even as the rain came down.

Harley's delicate psyche, always on the go, conjured up what their lives will no doubt become throughout the remainder of her journey toward her emerald beauty. Although her physical form operated on auto-pilot, her mind was a thousand miles (and several realities) away.

_Harley and Ivy had a spacious two-floor hideout in an undisclosed city, free of the toxic and corrupting disaster that was Gotham City. An abundance of flora cascaded down every wall, pillar, and step. Dazzling buds and petals adorned each plant, adding both intense splashes of color and intoxicating aromas that proved to be an orgiastic feast for the senses. Lavender walls intensified the colours further, and an abundance of white and black leather furniture presented ample comfort opportunities to the crime-weary rogues. With the single bedroom and vast numbers of storage quarters and laboratories on the second floor, the first was free for Ivy's babies to overwhelm. Only a large flat-screen television mounted to a far wall and the adjoining wall had no greenery adorning it. The empty wall had a large mantle with white and gold paint. Resting on it were many smaller images of Harley and Ivy's escapades throughout the years…mug shots, framed newspaper clippings of their most memorable heists, and photos of the duo together…all within the grasp or arms of one another. Their faces spoke volumes of their happiness. These icons, however, paled in comparison to the grand image above them._

_Centered above the mantle was a large expertly-crafted portrait of Harley and Ivy. Harley, fully dressed in her harlequin costume, had her back to Ivy. Positioned on the left side of the portrait, she held her trademark popgun up with her left hand. Her head was partially turned forward toward the viewer, a classic smile decorating her face. Ivy, wearing her midnight green body piece, arm-length gloves and boots, had her back slightly angled towards Harley's. Held over her well-endowed bosom and slightly below her nose, she had a single expertly-trimmed red rose. Her crimson hair, tucked behind one ear and allowed to cover the second, was as perfectly styled as ever. Seductive and daring eyes stared forward, speaking monumental volumes of Ivy's abilities to enslave and exploit love struck fools. Her lips, sealed and painted a deep shade of green, were curved upwards at one side. The rose covered the majority of her mouth, but the curve was clearly visible. Between the two, gloved fingers were intertwined by their available hands. The portrait was no doubt the centrepiece of the spacious room. To either side of it, however, were even more objects worthy of display…_

_On Harley's side, mounted on a glossy board of auburn wood, was the mounted head of their most insufferable and downright pain-in-the-ass nemesis, Batman. His head was still fully adorned in his classic black cowl, and his strong chin and piercing eyes glared as a silent reminder of himself in his former glory. A small golden plaque below the head simply read 'BATSY'. Below the grim trophy was a framed photograph of Harley and Ivy high-fiving in front of a hanging, ensnared, upside-down dark knight. _

_Ivy's side, like Harley's, had a trophy worthy of display as well. There could only be one such prize in the world that Ivy would ever consider placing there. Ghastly white flesh and bright green hair glowed menacingly, and jagged, maniacal features garnished the face of the one and only Joker. His epic grin still stretched the entire width of his face, and abnormally perfect teeth shone softly in the light. No plaque labelled the Joker's gargoyle-like features. (Like he deserved one after the nonsense he put Harley-girl through all this time.)But, perhaps to add insult to injury, a small flower pot sat perched on Joker's head, a testament to Mother Nature's power and resilience._

_Harley had just entered to spot Ivy lounging on the sofa, a violet velvet nightgown hugging her body tightly. She beckoned Harley over with a sultry look and a motion of her finger. All too eager to respond in her own adorable way, Harley vaulted over a recliner and dove onto the couch to land squarely on top of her. With their faces mere millimetres apart, they stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Ivy whispered something and closed the gap between their lips._

A splash of water landing on the tip of Harley's nose snapped her back to reality, halting her in her tracks.

Barley computing her surroundings, Harley's eyes glanced upward towards the heavens. The clear skies that bathed her with sickly sunshine all morning and early afternoon had all but vanished. Inky clouds now blotted out the sun, threatening Gotham with one of it's all-too-frequent torrential downpours. Small droplets of rain, an obvious precursor to the approaching storm, already fell at a gentle pace. With each passing moment, the drips were increasing in both quantity and girth.

Fortunately for Harley, she was not far away from her destination. How she managed to successfully navigate through the twisting alleys, overcrowded sidewalks, and daunting streets of Gotham's central district with her mind securely locked in dreamland was nothing short of astonishing. She had left the industrial district (and the memory of the street hoodlum) far behind, had gotten through the shady transition zone, then the densely-populated central district. She was finally approaching the botanical gardens. It normally would not have taken her half as long as it did that day, but sometimes unforeseen delays become present and must be dealt with accordingly.

A sore feeling on her face, more specifically her cheeks, suddenly dawned on her. Taking a moment to rest herself, Harley huddled beneath the awning of a closed bodega and gazed at her reflection in the store's grimy window.

The brilliant smile she had since the industrial district shone back at her.

"Oh Red, see what you do to me, girl?" Harley said dreamily to her own reflection. "Me'n'you, that's all we need. Nuthin' else. We'll ditch this dump to the bats'n' birds, an' find our own little slice'a heaven. No one's gonna stand in our way, right?"

Her silent reflection stared back at her, smiling all the while.

"Exactly!"

After limbering up and shoving the final piece of bubblegum she had saved in her pocket into her mouth, she took off in a sprint, the giant metallic sign indicating the Botanical Gardens entrance finally coming into view.

The place appeared larger in the daylight than Harley could have ever imagined.

As Harley stood at the main gate, she just had to take in her surroundings. The black iron fence at either side of her stretched beyond her field of vision. Above the opening where a now-missing iron gate used to be, black block letters arched over her head, spelling out BOTAN_CAL GARDE_S. The letters themselves were clearly unkempt and in desperate need of maintenance that would surely never arrive. Stepping forward over the mossy pavement, Harley passed row upon row of abandoned exhibits. Derelict greenhouses, obviously unused by Ivy herself, stood empty. Many of the windows were smashed out, either from Father Time making them brittle and unable to withstand the elements any longer, or by teenagers with no classes to attend and little else to do. As she approached the center of the gardens, however, Harley noticed that the greenhouses closer to the central structure flourished with life. Thick vines and multi-coloured flowered enveloped every available inch behind the cloudy glass, and the vines would coil and slide ever so gently, as if Ivy's hand commanded them personally.

Harley passed the greenhouses without a second thought. _There'll be tons of time with Ivy's babies after we…hehe. _Instead, she jogged through the grounds until she stood before the main hub of the gardens.

Visions of the night before swam through her head like they just happened a moment ago.

She stood before the large, two-story building. The first half of the structure was red brick, but the upper half was all windows. The faded paint on the brick depicted smiling schoolchildren with their arms out to either side with plant tendrils gently coiled around them. A bubble above one of the children read 'I LOVE THE BOTANICAL GARDENS!' A simple design, this structure was originally designed as the information source of the gardens until funding ran out and the buildings and plants were left to fend for themselves. From the looks of it, Ivy rescued more than her share of greenery from certain death. _That's Red for ya._

Harley stopped, glanced up to the second story and fixed her eyes on the window Ivy had watched her from, the silent moment they shared still burning brightly within her mind. She stood and just observed for a moment, half-expecting Ivy to reappear with a smirk and motion for her to come in for some hot chocolate and kisses.

Only darkness stared back.

The gentle drizzle of rain from only moments ago had quickly upgraded into a downpour. Sheets of rain now cascaded from the blackened skies, quickly morphing the parched concrete and desiccated dirt into a muddy quagmire. Harley was thoroughly soaked, her platinum blonde hair matted flatly over her scalp. Her slender form trembled from the cold that, with little mercy or difficulty, pierced her tattered costume and sank deep into her bones…or perhaps it was from the fact that Ivy was mere meters away.

"Wowwie, Red's ridin' in style!" Harley exclaimed as she quickly sidled past a black BMW parked at the bottom of the steps. Even in the limited daylight and the rain descending from above, Harley knew this was an overly-expensive vehicle, and just assumed that Ivy nabbed it during one of her heists. She didn't recall seeing it during her last visit though…

Harley stood before the grand archway of the entrance. Thick vines crisscrossed over the doorway, barring any unwanted visitors from entry. A single low-watt light bulb mounted on the roof of the entrance buzzed softly and cast a gentle glow on the door. As she hiked up the small flight of stairs, the vines slowly receded back into the greenhouse, exposing the white door. She knew this meant Ivy was expecting her.

"Yep, mama's back, sweeties!" Harley exclaimed to the quickly-vanishing liana. "I'll have'ta see ya later though, I got some stuff to do with Ivy right now." She giggled to herself.

Taking a deep breath and steeling her nerves, Harley knocked on the door…

…and waited…

…and waited some more.

With frustration quickly overwhelming her, she pounded on the door with her fists.

"Hey Red, open up! It's me! C'mon girl, it's freezin' out here!" she called, cupping her hands around her mouth and pressing them against the steel door, speaking into the metal. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, Harley heard a click of the door unlocking. As the door slowly pulled open, Harley mustered her most dazzling smile and shut her eyes tightly, expecting Ivy's throaty voice to serenade her numb ears.

"May I help you?" a foreign voice softly asked her.

Harley didn't move a muscle. _Maybe Red's gettin' voice lessons or somethin'…you know, for one of her great plans. _With curiosity getting the better of her, she pried open an eye and took in what she saw.

A young woman in her mid twenties stood at the doorway. Her blonde hair was tied tightly into a bun behind her head, and thin glasses perched on her nose. She was slightly shorter than Harley, even in black heels. A buttoned up white lab coat covered her body, and her photo ID was neatly positioned over her left breast pocket. Where the coat ended, a tan skirt continued, halting just above her knees. She radiated an overwhelming sense of familiarity, but Harley couldn't seem to put her finger on where she'd seen such a person before. The woman stood with a gentle smile adorning her soft features, looking back at Harley.

"Um…may I help you? The woman repeated, slightly hesitant.

Harley just stared at the woman. Her smile still pinched her cheeks, but her eyes narrowed. Slowly, the grin followed suit. Only two words could escape Harley's lips.

"Where's Red?" she demanded, balling her hands into fists at her side.

"'Red' ?" the woman said with a puzzled expression appearing on her gentle face. "I'm terribly sorry, but there is no one here by that name. Perhaps you have the wrong…botanical gardens…" The woman glanced away sheepishly, embarrassed by the ridiculous comment that just slipped from her lips. Harley, however, didn't find it amusing at all.

"What'd you do to Ivy?!" Harley shouted, her face growing hot despite having been pelted by icy raindrops for the past hour. She took a step forward.

"Ivy? Oh, you must mean Pamela!" the woman exclaimed as she backed up ever so slightly. She raised her hands up in a defensive stance. She couldn't hope to defend her frail self from a furious onslaught of rage from Harley Quinn anyway, so she tried to defuse the situation as quickly as possible.

Harley stopped dead in her tracks, but said nothing.

"Pamela is here! Would you like to see her?"

"No, I wanted to sell her some Harley Scout cookies." she replied, rolling her eyes.

"MS. ISLEY! Some clown lady is here to see you!" The woman shouted behind her. Harley gritted her teeth and prepared to eject this unwanted intruder from the premises. Her body shook from anger, but the feeling instantly evaporated the second she heard the seductive serenade of the only woman that could increase her heartbeat tenfold and melt away all tension and anger.

"Is there a problem, darling?" a voice floated from the darkness behind the still-unnamed woman. Harley's heart melted as the object of her desires slowly materialized in front of her. Stopping before coming into full view, Poison Ivy spoke softly to the woman. "Rose, be a dear and wait for me back at the sofa. This should only take a moment." 'Rose' nodded, and vanished deeper inside the building.

_Rose? ROSE? What the hell's goin' on here?_

With the previously occupied doorway now vacant, the shadowy figure stepped forward into full view. All of Harley's senses spun out of control as, for the first time since the Joker incident, she laid her wide blue eyes on the gorgeous seductress that was Poison Ivy.

Ivy stood; arms crossed, and leaned against the doorframe. A snug-fitting purple turtleneck and tight blue jeans covered her sexy emerald frame, accentuating every curve. Her scarlet hair, still as perfect as ever, flowed seamlessly down her shoulders and hypnotizing eyes gazed past Harley and into the blackened sky beyond the entrance. A smile tugged at her soft green lips.

"Oh my, is it raining again? How my babies love this weather" Ivy murmered to herself. "I absolutely must take a stroll later." Ivy's eyes purposely avoided Harley's eager expression for what seemed like an eternity.

Harley hopped from foot to foot in anticipation, silently clapping her hands.

Finally, Ivy relented. Her intense gaze locked onto Harley's.

Harley's head swam with emotion.

"Hello Harley", Ivy simply said. "What brings you here?"

Her words failed her. Every fantasy, every loving word, every line she had rehearsed to herself flew right out the proverbial window as her mind quickly melted to mush.

Only one action made it's way through the fog. Opening her arms wide, Harley jumped at Ivy and wrapped her slender arms around the green goddess' neck. Ivy immediately stiffened and her face grimaced. Finally, words escaped the jester's trembling mouth as her thoughts cleared and flew out at breakneck speed.

"HEY RED!" she screeched a centimetre from Ivy's ear. "It's soooooo good to see ya again! Wait'll ya hear what happened today! Haha, you're gonna get a kick out of it, I swear! I sure did!"

"Harley…"

"It was great! Ooh, you shoulda seen it! Heehee, puddin' tried to hurt me again, but I said to myself "Harl, no more!" and let'im have it! The big meany took it right in the chops an' dropped like a sack'a doorknobs! I bet he didn't see it comin', no siree!"

"HARLEY…"

"HAHA! You shoulda seen 'im, Red. He got his hand stuck in the toaster an' everything! I'm done with him for good, I swear, not like last time…or the time before that…or before that…I'm all yours, Red. Forever and ever. You'n'me, girl. We can find a nice hideout somewhere with a mantle and…"

"_**HARLEY!"**_

The clown girl suddenly stopped. Pulling back from the hug, Harley looked at Ivy slightly perplexed. Not only had Ivy not reciprocated with a hug of her own, she appeared to be trying to push Harley away from her.

"C'mon Red, you're not givin' it to me here. Didn't ya hear what I said? I'm here for good now. C'mon, let me in so I can get outta this soggy costume." Harley winked at her.

Ivy just stared at her for a time, shaking her head slightly. After a sigh passed through her moist lips, she finally broke her silence.

"Harley…I…can't allow that." Her gaze returned to the unrelenting storm behind them. "Things are…different now. There are certain details about my life that you must know about." She sighed again.

"What? It's only been a day, Pammie. What could be so different?"

"It's about Rose…" Ivy trailed off.

It hit Harley like a ton of bricks. The most unexpected news in the universe just slapped her across the face with the force of a thousand joy buzzars. It couldn't be true…not her Ivy. The one that has sworn an eternal vendetta against the destructors of the natural world…the one who threatened humanity on a regular basis and carried out violent, and often successful, plans in order to deliver the world back into Gaia's hands…found love…and it wasn't Harley?

"Uh…uh…um…heh, you never were good at tellin' jokes, Red." Harley said nervously after an awkward silence filled the void between them. "C'mon, it's not really funny. With jokes, timing is everythin' ya know." She bit her lip.

"I do NOT joke, Harley. You know that." Ivy poked a finger in Harley's soggy face and frowned. "To even suggest such a thing is an insult!"

"Sorry, Red…" Harley said softly with her gaze cast at the ground. Ivy's tone instantly softened as well.

"Oh Harley, do understand that sometimes in life, these things just happen. Rose is a lovely girl. She's studying the benifets of flora in the medical profession. Isn't that lovely?"

"It's just dynamite." Harley slouched, tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Ivy smiled softly and placed her index finger under Harley's chin, raising her head so their eyes could meet again. "I just want you to know that you will always…ALWAYS have a special place in my heart. When you and I…" Her voice halted suddenly. Ivy's gaze dropped from her baby blue eyes to her neck. Not believing what she saw at first, she blinked and looked again, leaning in close to examine Joker's handiwork. "Harley, what the hell happened?"

"I told ya, Red. Joker hurt me real bad. I got him though…got 'em good. I fought back like you told me to. I remembered everything you told me." Harley's voice caught in her throat as she fought back tears. Ivy gritted her teeth and growled.

"That son of a bitch…" was all she could get out. Ivy's emotions were threatening to overwhelm her, but she was somehow able to regain her composure. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she spoke again. "Wait here a moment. I'll grab something for you." Ivy vanished for a moment, and then reappeared with a tube of green gel. She handed it over to Harley's trembling hand.

"What's this stuff?" Harley eyed the tube sceptically.

"It will help with your injuries. It's a very special concoction of my own design. Formulated to work with your very own specific blood and skin type, it should heal you up in no time at all. It's just another amazing creation by the hand of nature."

"Uh, aren't ya gonna, you know, help me with it like ya always do? I don't have a mirror or nuthin'! How am I supposed'ta…" Ivy cut her off.

"Here, take this also." Ivy took Harley's hand, opened her palm and plunked a large silver key into it. Ivy's hand lingered an unusual amount of time holding Harley's before finally slipping away. Harley whimpered at the lack of contact.

"Red…"

"Remember the area of the gardens I stayed in before I moved here? That simple little storage bunker on the outskirts of the grounds? That key opens the door to it. I haven't been there in quite some time, so you may use it for as long as you want." Another warm and caring smile graced Ivy's lips. "Be safe Harley, and do visit again soon." She turned on her heel and began to stroll back inside. Harley, however, had other plans. She gripped Ivy's shoulder and spun her back around.

"Red! Listen to me, girl! That chick's got nuthin' on your Harl! Remember our past an'…an'…all the fun we've had together!" Harley's voice rang of desperation, but she didn't care. This was her final chance to turn things back around in her favour. "Remember the museum an' Arkham…not to mention all the fights with Batsy and Bratgirl! We stood together and fell together…me'n'you versus the planet…right Red? Isn't that what I used to say as the dork night dragged us off to Arkham time and time again? I mean it, Ivy, I really really do! I NEED you, an' you need me! I know you do! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!" Tears bubbled down Harley's hot cheeks as she broke down sobbing, clutching her face with her hands.

Ivy just stood and stared, unable to speak.

_This better work. Harley is too precious to hurt like this, and here I am unable to comfort her…_

Harley's sobs eventually faded, and the duo just stood in silence, aside from the rains coming down just beyond the doorway. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, but the sadness in her eyes quickly vanished. Her eyebrows furrowed as her body became rigid and anger quickly took over her emotions.

"You know what? This ain't over! Yer gonna realize exactly what you're missin', and I'm gonna be the one to make yah see it! You'll see, mark my words!" She stormed down the steps, stopping momentarily to flash Ivy a look that spoke volumes of her instability and insanity. "I'LL BE BACK!"

Taking the opportunity, Ivy quickly retreated into her hideout and sealed the door. She feared no human, but Harley in a truly upset state was similar to a cornered beast…capable of feats of extreme violence and unpredictability. Turning her back to the door, Ivy leaned against it and sighed deeply. Yet again, an uncharacteristically wide smile slowly crept over her emerald features. Her eyes closed as she reveled in her personal victory.

"_Hehe, and the Oscar goes to….!" _Ivy raised her hands above her head and laughed out loud.

"_Well Harl, the ball is in your court now. If I know you as well as I surely do, you won't let a little thing like this stand in your way. You'll return soon enough with some hair-brained scheme to win back my heart…but little do you know that you had it all along." _Ivy's cheeks blossomed redness slightly as blood rushed to her face. _"I have to make sure that this is it. I have to make sure you won't leave me again. This is it, Harl….game on!"_

"Um, Ms. Isley?" Rose's voice called from the other room.

Ivy's face instantly darkened.

"Coming" she said flatly, and she strolled back to the awaiting (and unknowing) pawn.

**A/N****: *Gasp* Such a devious little girl, isn't she? Oh come on, you knew Ivy could never love another human. I didn't expect this chapter to be so long, but hey, it is what it is. Oh, and thank you all SO much for all your reviews! I'm glad many of you like my little creation here. PLEASE keep them coming…and yes, Rose is sort of my creation, although she may remind a few of you of someone else in Ivy's life…**


	5. Fantasy, Fury, and Fortune

**A/N****: Well, in all honesty, I wasn't so sure I was going to continue with this story…but here is chapter four it all its glory. More Ivy in this chapter, so try to enjoy. =)**

**Disclaimer****: All characters (except Rose) belong to DC and their respective entities. I don****'****t **

**own anything, much to my dismay.**

**HANDS OFF**

Chapter 4: Fantasy, Fury and Fortune

"…so then when I was six, my parents sent me away to live on my grandparent's ranch. I don't really remember them, since they died when I was eleven. Oh, but they had this adorable horse named Smoochy. He had the cutest…" Rose had been carrying on in this manner for what seemed like an eternity. Completely oblivious to anything and everything around her, she spouted random, overly-useless facts about her life to the woman she thought was glued to her every word and would give her greenhouses away in a heartbeat to hear more.

Oh, how foolishly unintelligent and mislead the human race could be sometimes.

Ivy was perched cross-legged on a backless bar stool across from Rose, who was sprawled out on the redhead's plush sofa. Although there was easily enough room on the couch for both women, Ivy chose to drag the dusty stool from storage in an effort to keep her distance from the younger lady. Although she had absolutely no interest in the insufferable little chatterbox she had graciously allowed into her lair and not thrown to her babies yet, Ivy felt the need to establish her own personal boundaries.

The emerald goddess sat with her face half-buried in her palm, a look of unadulterated boredom and displeasure adorning her soft features. Her eyes were drooping ever-so-slowly shut as her mouth was curved downward in a frown that had the capacity to lower the earthen temperature around her own self. She had not moved a pretty muscle since Harley's 'unexpected' visit earlier, and her patience with this cretin was wearing extremely thin. Even though they had just met earlier that day, Ivy knew she hated this irritating insect with every fibre of her enhanced being.

"I couldn't BELIEVE the school said you called for me!" Rose exclaimed, suddenly growing bored with her childhood tales and switching subjects almost seamlessly. "When I heard that Gotham's greatest crusader of flora rights and protection asked about me, I knew I just had to meet you! I'm sure glad I did, too!"

Ivy raised an eyebrow.

"They warned me to stay away from you…said you were dangerous and didn't like people. I knew that wasn't the case though. I'll bet you're just misunderstood, as most brilliant minds are." She bobbed her head in agreement with her own statement.

_You don't know a thing about me. Don't you dare assume otherwise._

"Mm, thank you" Ivy muttered, glancing away in utter tedium yet again. The slender fingers from her available hand tapped her knee in annoyance as Rose continued down her path of verbal worship. As the girl babbled on and on with no end in sight, Ivy's mind began to wander…

The plan to win Harley over permanently from the grinning gargoyle had been in the works for quite some time. Each instance of abandonment from the clown girl fuelled her resolve to sever the psychopath's hold. Ivy had done her research, using her feminine wiles (and a few drugged victims) to find the perfect pawn for her grand scheme. Everything had to be perfect…physical appearance, personality, direction in life, and, perhaps most importantly, inability to sense or resist manipulation. Being the victim of a broken home at an early age and riddled with emotional scars than never quite healed, Rose quickly distanced herself from any competition she unknowingly had.

After the fateful late-night rendezvous on which Ivy had bared her soul to Harley just to suffer rejection yet again, the redhead was certain that the time was then to carry out the first step of her scheme. The yearning yet frightened expression on Harley's features that night spoke more than her accented voice ever could. She was nearly there…SO close to breaking. After years of standing idly by, watching her return to him time and time again, Harley was finally ready to rid herself of her most lethal of addictions. All she needed was a little push. It was quite fortunate that Ivy made the call to the medical school so soon, as Harley's epic fallout with Joker was not anticipated so quickly. Always able to adapt and rise above any problem or issue at hand, Ivy just went along with the flow of things. Seemingly, things were off to a mighty fine start.

An expectant look on Rose's face directed at Ivy snapped her back to reality. It seemed as though she was awaiting some sort of response to a question Ivy never heard. Rolling the dice, she took a chance.

"Uh…" Ivy stuttered, "…yes?" She mentally held her breath to await Rose's response.

"Okay! Well, when I was seventeen, I took a trip to Holland. It's so flat there! No hills at all, I swear. Lots of flowers though. Fields and fields of them!" Rose catapulted herself into mindless one-sided conversation again, feeling confident that Ivy was paying utmost attention. Each sentence melded into the next, creating a verbal beast of unparalleled boredom and head-throbbing agony.

_For Gaia's sake, are you STILL talking? Who do you think you are…Harley?_

Harley. The very mention of the girl's name tugged the corners of Ivy's lips upwards ever so slightly.

"_Oh Harl…"_ Ivy thought to herself, despite her valiant efforts to actually follow Rose's ramblings._ "I do hope you're alright. It was unfortunate that I had to turn you away, but it was for the best. You'll see someday soon, I promise you. When I am certain you will not leave me again for that homicidal jackal, I'll show you just how much I've wanted you all these years…"_ Ivy's cheeks gained a rosy glow as her face and body warmed substantially. She shut her eyes briefly, just to reopen them to a sight that made her lungs constrict and stomach flutter.

Harley was standing behind the sofa, wearing little more than her characteristically-wide grin. With one hand placed upon the lower curve of her back, Harley raised the other and dragged a slender finger from her bottom lip down the length of her body. The process was excruciatingly slow and intolerably seductive, and it drove Ivy's emotions into a flurry of desire and longing. The entire world faded into utter nothingness around Ivy, leaving the girl of her deepest desires spotlighted in front of her. After her finger reached a certain point just below her waist, she raised it yet again and pointed directly at the lust-drunk woman before her. The girl's hand gently turned over, and her index finger motioned to her in a come-hither fashion that Ivy had utilized throughout her life as a seductress, but fantasy Harley had apparently perfected. Ivy nearly fainted from that action alone.

Ivy, ready to rise up and hurl herself at the younger woman, blinked once to clear her foggy vision.

The fantasy was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

Ivy sat bewildered and wide-eyed, barely comprehending what had just happened. For numerous years, the emerald beauty used her wiles and abilities to seduce and manipulate any male she wished, but had never herself become a victim to a similar fate. To experience such intense and vivid emotions brought out a previously undiscovered feeling in Ivy's heart that left her craving more.

_Is this what it feels like to be in love?_

Reality set in far too quickly for Ivy's liking. The room had returned to normal, Rose chatting away to herself with grand hand gestures peppered with giggles on the sofa across from her. Sighing deeply to herself, Ivy returned to her original face-palmed position perched on the dusty stool, silently praying to Gaia that Harley would act sooner rather than later.

**Meanwhile, across the compound…**

Harley, with the unforeseen news of Ivy's rejection still plaguing her, trudged her away across the Botanical Gardens. The rain had not subsided in the least, adding to her misery and weighing down her strides. Still clutching the key tightly in her hand, the blonde went to the only place she knew would be safe…the only location that had Poison Ivy's seal of approval. She could think of no other option at the moment, nor did she have any desire to formulate one. Ivy's old hideaway would have to do.

Slipping the old key into the sealed metal doors, Harley cranked the large piece of metal with all her might, and four minutes and several curse words later the door finally relented, giving a satisfying _CLICK_ and inching inwards slightly. All too prepared to get out the rain that has been chilling her to the bone for far too many hours, Harley stepped inside and walked down a small flight of steps.

Fumbling about in the dark, the girl finally found a light switch and flipped it on. Incredibly, the miniature lair still had power. Harley wrinkled her nose at what she saw.

The entire square room was no more than 12 x 12 meters. The walls were painted a soft white, peeling bits curling up and down the walls with paint chips scattered about the cracked tile floor. Water spots and stains smeared the walls in various locations, and the musty smell of mould hung heavily in the air. A small cot stood undisturbed in the corner. Oddly enough, the cot looked new; its steel frame and fabric virtually untarnished. A red blanket was folded and placed over a small pillow on the end of the cot. On the far wall next to the cot was a small wood dresser and vanity mirror. A door to another room to the right of the entrance caught Harley's eye, but she ignored it for the time being. She didn't care about doors or cots or dressers right now.

With the events of the past day finally sinking in, Harley froze and stared at the hard floor. Every emotion in the book swirled inside her fragile mind as she recounted just exactly what has happened. So far, she had been nearly killed, forced to flee for her life, murdered a drug dealer / possible rapist, soaked to the core by a torrential downpour and rejected by the newly-realized love of her life.

All in all, not one of her better days.

Her knees weakened as her legs shook violently, unable and unwilling to support her any further. She dropped to all fours with a thud as her face went hot from the agony of unshed tears and bottled up emotions. With her body finally succumbing to fatigue and emotions draining her of her fragile spirit, Harley did the only thing she was capable of doing at that moment.

She screamed.

They started low, a harsh growl from the depths of her stomach, but they quickly rose in pitch and volume until the roars of the defeated fool shook the foundations of the structure surrounding her. She screamed time and time again, unable to hold back the fury of her love-starved heart a moment longer. She pounded her fists on the floor in blind anger, ignoring the sharp stabs of pain to her delicate hands. Shrieking until her petite voice was raw, Harley collapsed to the floor, sobbing uncontrollably.

It took many long heart-broken moments before her sobs quieted and she regained some type of composure.

Harley sat up, wiping her salty tears away with her hand. It did little to dry them, as she was still thoroughly soaked. Growing tired of the feeling of saturation, she eyed the dresser. Mustering every ounce of strength she had, she rose to her exhausted feet once again and stepped towards the dresser. It was a long shot, but perhaps Ivy had an extra shirt she forgot to bring to her new lair or something. She slid open the top drawer of the dresser…

A fluffy cyan towel lie neatly folded to the far left of the drawer, and three pairs of clean underwear lie beside that. To the far right of the drawer, several shirts, one folded upon the next, lay stacked and a few bras, apparently Harley's size, sat neatly as well.

Harley's harlequin outfit was off in a flash.

First drying herself with the towel, she revelled in the sheer feeling and heavenly scent of it. Despite the day's events and Harley's recent outburst, her wide grin returned again as she hung the towel over the edge of the cot to dry. Her characteristically good mood returning swiftly, she slipped on the undergarments and a simple white shirt over them. Further inspection of the remaining drawers revealed sweat pants, jeans, a sweater, socks and shoes (among other things), all Harley's size. She didn't give it a second thought as to what they were doing there, or who put them there. She was just ecstatic to uncover such a treasure trove of comfort on such a gloomy day.

Finally dry and comfortable, Harley eyed the small while door she had ignored earlier. Curiosity quickly overtook her and she walked over and inched the door open with a creak. It was pitch black inside, but she reached in, felt along the left wall, found the light source, and flipped the switch. What the light illuminated in the tiny closet left her speechless.

A brand new harlequin outfit stared back at her.

It lay mounted on a board, arms outstretched. Upon closer inspection, Harley could tell that the suit was painstakingly crafted by hand to fit the exact contours and dimensions of Harley's acrobatic body. The material itself was high-grade, slightly elastic and abrasion-resistant. A pair of gloves and a hood, complete with tassels, hung from a hook beside it. On a tiny shelf to the left of the costume lay two sticks of black lipstick, a white powder makeup kit, and a new domino mask. Black and red boots sat on the floor beneath the costume.

Harley spent a few silent moments carefully gathering up the various items from the closet, and brought them into the main room for closer examination. With everything appearing to be overly-perfect to her keen eyes, Harley held up the costume over her body and admired herself in the mirror mounted on the dresser. Smiling at her fortune, it suddenly dawned on her…the one responsible for all this…for the comfort of clean clothes, a barely-leaky roof and a comfortable cot complete with blanket and pillow…was the one her heart belonged to. Who else could it be? Poison Ivy, of course.

"Oh Red, you DO care!" she shrieked from a hoarse throat. "I KNEW it! There ain't no way you'd go through all this trouble for someone you didn't love!" Harley gripped the empty costume by the arm and back and danced around the small room, humming to herself all the while. "Hee hee, ya got me good, girl! Ya don't love Rose like ya love yer Harl."

After carefully mounting the costume back on the board and placing the accessories on top of the dresser, she tapped her chin with her index finger, mind racing.

"I could go back tonight…" she muttered to herself, "an' talk to her again. I just KNOW I can get'er to ditch that good-fer-nuthin' newb if I bring up all the stuff I found here. Yeah, that settles it!" In the silence that followed, the sound of the rain beating against the door and thunder rumbling overhead caused Harley to grimace and reconsider her hasty plan.

"Mmmm, maybe I should sleep a bit…y'know, charge those batteries." She yawned and made her way over to the cot. "It's so cold and gross out there, I ain't in no mood to get soakin' wet again, 'specially in these cool new clothes!" Harley placed the pillow at the end of the cot and wrapped the toasty red blanket around her now-cozy frame. Swinging her legs over the side, the blonde lay on her back, staring at the bland ceiling.

"Heh, when Red'n'me are together again, Rose is toast. We can feed 'er to Ivy's plants or somethin'…" Her eyes, slowly succumbing to exhaustion, inched shut. "Then I'll kiss her an' we'll…go to…yeah…" Harley drifted off to sleep quickly, her smile curving her lips even in slumber as dreams of Poison Ivy danced through her mind.

_**Meanwhile…**_

The bitter storm continued to rage into the night. Poison Ivy, having felt that she had exposed herself to enough idiocy and being satisfied that Harley was snuggled safely within her old hideout, 'politely' escorted Rose to the door. Before the pawn had even slipped her coat on, Ivy shoved her out into the rain and slammed the door behind her, muttering inaudible profanities all the while.

With a shrug, Rose donned her jacket. To be thrown out in such a manner probably should have upset her, but it really didn't. Throughout her schooling, Rose had followed Ivy's exploits closely, gaining a deep respect for the warrior of the natural world. Many of her reasons for working with plant life in the medical profession had stemmed from her fascination with the green woman's crusade against humanity.

Not in a million years did Rose think she would ever get the chance to meet the infamous Poison Ivy.

Incredibly, for a reason unbeknown to her, Ivy had asked for her personally. She actually knew her name, let alone knew of her existence! Rose still couldn't believe it. Being invited to the redhead's lair to 'discuss plant stuff', as Ivy had elegantly put it, was the icing on the cake. There wasn't a force on earth that could have kept her away, and she showed up at Ivy's doorstep with the highest of hopes.

Little did Rose actually know that she had essentially signed her own death warrant in doing so.

Rose made a mad scramble to her BMW. It had been a medical school enrolment gift from her wealthy parents. Perhaps the guilt of sending their only daughter away to live out her childhood on a horse farm finally caught up with them.

Fumbling through her purse in search of her keys, Rose gritted her teeth as the onslaught of rain pelted her face. She had only been standing there for ten seconds or so, but she was already soaked to the core. Cursing loudly to herself, the woman continued her frantic search.

"Why didn't you have your keys ready before you came out, my dear?" a chilling voice broke through the night.

Every muscle and joint in Rose's body instantly seized up. She just stood there, unable to move, staring into her waterlogged purse. Terror crept up her spine as she heard slow, even footsteps clack on the weathered concrete.

"Might I lend a hand? There's nothing that tugs at this old boy's heartstrings more than a damsel in distress." The voice was closer and louder. It had an amused undertone to it, the kind one would think a spider would have before it sinks its fangs into a helpless fly.

Rose's eyes slowly left her purse, followed the length of her car, and stopped when she saw it. A figure, presumably male, stood at the front of her car with one gloved hand resting on the hood. He was wearing a white trench coat, and a purple hat with a wide brim was angled down, concealing his face. The rain splashed down and flowed over the man's hat, but he seemed completely unfazed by the weather.

He ran a gloved finger over Rose's hood ornament.

"Uh…" Rose stammered. "I'm fine. I d-don't have any spare change or a-anything though. Sorry."

Rose could swear she heard an amused chuckle come out from under the purple hat.

"Oh, that's quite alright. I'm not in need of any." The man took a step closer. "I'm feeling generous tonight anyway. Big things are in the works, you see."

Rose didn't move. She couldn't. Every instinct within her was screaming at her to flee, but absolute fear kept her feet glued to the ground. All she could do was stare and squeak out responses.

"T-take the car," Rose forced out. "Just take it. P-please."

The man stepped closer still.

"Oh my, really?" Gloved hands clapped silently. "I won it, did I? Lucky me! Oh, what a wonderful day to be alive!" Laughter emanated from an unseen face, then halted abruptly. "What about the keys though? Shucks, so close, yet oh so far away." The man snapped his fingers, and then returned his hand to his side.

"H-here…keys…in there…take everything!" Rose dropped her purse to the ground. It splashed in a growing puddle at her feet.

One more step was taken forward. The two were mere inches apart.

"Now now, there's no need for that. I'm not greedy, you know."

The man leaned in close to Rose's face…so close that her nose nearly touched the purple material of the hat. Rose could feel the mixture of hot tears and icy rainwater flow down her face.

"Kings and queens might jump at the chance of nabbing free riches, but not this boy. A life of simple, albeit odd pleasures are more than enough for the lifestyle…." the man angled his hat up and made eye contact with the woman. A smile consisting of perfect teeth stretched the width of his face, illuminated by the light from Ivy's front door. Ghastly white flesh, soaked from the rain, glowed eerily. "…of a Joker!"

He threw his hands up in the air and cackled maniacally.

Rose's mouth opened in a silent scream, horrified at the display. She had read about this man's exploits in the newspapers countless times, and had glanced over lists of his latest victims. Never did she ever think she would be face to face with the clown prince of crime himself.

"W-w-what do you want from me?" She finally forced out, shocked she managed to speak at all.

Joker's smile never faltered.

"I thought you'd never ask, sweetheart! The truth is I'm just waiting for my ride. I may be a simple clown, but I still enjoy being chauffeured around this dump of a city." Joker paused for a moment and tapped his chin as his gaze left Rose's and stared off into space. "All I wanted was someone to talk to, you know? Another lonely soul on a dreadful night such as this. I saw you, and I thought to myself, 'Joker old chap…she looks quite skilled in the art of conversation! Why not go say hello?'"

His gaze returned to Rose.

Rose relaxed slightly.

_Maybe he's telling the truth. He seems nice enou…_

Her thoughts were cut short by a flash. Two globes of brilliant white light cut through the darkness and illuminated the area. Joker had his back to it, but Rose was forced to squint and hold her hand up to her face, blinding her.

"Ooh, speak of the devil!" Joker exclaimed. "My ride has arrived, and just in the nick of time, too. I was beginning to catch a chill."

"Uh…okay then…nice talking to you." Rose muttered, trying to figure out why she never heard the engine of the vehicle pull up.

Joker's smile widened.

"Actually, a thought….since your keys are missing, why not let this noble chap take you home? It would probably be better if you just do it, you know. It's not like you have a choice in the matter."

Rose immediately backed up, only to bump into what felt like a brick wall. She hadn't even heard him sneak up behind her.

While one meaty hand securing itself around her waist, another quickly clamped around her mouth, muffling the inevitable scream that projected from Rose's shuddering lips. She tried to bite down, but the thug's skin was so thick that she would probably have an easier time chewing through shoe leather.

With a motion of Joker's hand, the beefy minion staggered toward the Joker's ride and tossed a panicked Rose into the backseat. He climbed in after her, multiple curses escaping his mouth. The entire vehicle creaked and groaned as he took his seat and shut the door.

Joker, upon seeing that Rose was secure, motioned his hand again. This time, a thin blonde man wearing a wrinkled blue blazer stepped out of the front passenger seat. He approached Joker's back and stopped a few feet away.

"Take her car and follow us. Keys are in there." Joker pointed at the soaked purse half submerged in the puddle. "Don't leave anything behind. We can't have the plant bitch catching on so soon."

"You got it, boss," the man said. He quickly retrieved the keys, jumped in the BMW, and started it up.

Taking a moment for himself, he strolled over to the staircase leading up to Ivy's door. Drawing a very large revolver, he raised it and pointed it at the metal door.

"It would just be too easy to march in there and put two in your forehead," Joker muttered to himself, his smile fading. "For the annoyance you've caused me over the years, you deserve a special send-off. Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be around long enough to see me rend the flesh from that little blonde mongrel, but she'll certainly see you off to the big flowerbed in the sky."

His trademark smile crept over him again.

Holstering his firearm, Joker abruptly turned and walked quickly to his waiting ride. After climbing into the back seat, the two vehicles quickly exited the Botanical Gardens, speeding off into the night in the direction of the industrial district.

No sooner than when both vehicles vanished from sight, Ivy's door opened and a familiar redhead stepped out. Crossing her arms and gazing into the darkness, she scanned the scene for anything amiss, having sworn hearing some form of commotion a moment ago.

After being satisfied that nothing was out of place, she simply shrugged and slammed the door shut.

**A/N****: I'm trying to keep the sensual parts at least somewhat classy. If you are expecting smut and graphic description, look elsewhere. This is a love story, not a sex story. Well, now that I have that little speech out of my system, please review! I enjoy reading them, and I always respond. =) Special thanks to Ice Dragon 3 for keeping up with my little story and for leaving such wonderful reviews. NEW ENDING! Let me know what you think!**


	6. Just Checking In

**A/N**: **I suppose the apologies for the downtime between chapters is getting a tad repetitive, so from here on out, just assume I'm sorry. I really am. =) Oh, and italics represent a dream or thought, in case some of you get a tad lost.**

**Disclaimer****: All characters, aside from Rose, belong to DC and their respective entities. I don't own anything, much to my own dismay.**

**HANDS OFF**

Chapter Five: Just Checking In

_The forest was dark this time. An unusual thing, given the circumstances._

_Harley had been here countless times before. Each and every night, she returned to this place of safety and seclusion that somehow had cemented itself into her subconscious. No other thoughts or dreams would be permitted access. They were not needed._

_They were not wanted._

_This forest, Harley's personal oasis from the daunting world beyond her dreams, had always been a thing of absolute splendour and incomparable beauty since the dawn of its creation. Grand trees towered above this place to such an incredible degree that they seemed to scrape at the heavens with each sway of their mighty branches. Bright green foliage adorned each powerful limb, never-fading or diminishing with time…as if time even existed in this place. Creeping, unrelenting moss coated each trunk, adding a gentle contrast to the reddish-auburn wood. Stringy vines crisscrossed from one branch to the next, often hanging low to the ground. The forest floor itself was alive with the scents and dazzling colours of an infinite number of blossoms and buds. Harmless insects and nectar-consuming birds darted among the flowers, feasting on Mother Nature's bounty. The sun normally shone brightly, not a single cloud ever disrupting its luminosity._

_All this paled in comparison to what lay in the center of the woods, however. A mighty Technicolor plant had embedded itself firmly into place by an extensive root system. Each and every time Harley would approach, it would bloom and open itself, revealing the object of her desires perched on the bright pink petals within. _

_The forest was different this time, though. Much different._

_Harley found herself inching along a dirt path. Shards of splintered wood and sharp pebbles pricked the bottoms of her delicate bare feet as she tip-toed along. She never bothered looking down to watch her step, as the sun was mysteriously dim, allowing only a small fraction of the previously brilliant rays to light her way. Besides, the discomfort nothing out of the ordinary in Harley's life._

_To either side of the narrow path, grotesque trees loomed overtop. Their grey, jagged limbs seemed to be slowly reaching down at the girl dressed in white. Large cavities in many of the trunks resembled ghoulish expressions of terror and fear. Each and every time Harley stepped past one, she could hear a low creaking from behind her, as if the tree had turned to watch her go._

_This place was so foreign. The girl in white had absolutely no idea where she was, how she got there, or where she was headed. She craved desperately to flee from this wretched place and return to her Eden of paradise, but she had no clue how to carry out such a task. The path she was on seemed to stretch on into infinite blackness, and it seemed as though she had passed the same dilapidated trees a hundred times already. Heading back didn't seem like a worthwhile option either…and as for leaving the route itself…well, Harley took the demonic expressions etched upon the cursed flesh of the trees as a testament to the horrors that lurked just beyond the beaten path._

_Harley continued her nervous stroll for a few more moments. Huffing loudly with irritation from her predicament, she barely heard the noise at first. It sounded so distant, like a tree falling several miles away._

_Straining her neck, she stopped her trek and listened carefully._

_Another thud and a soft crack of splintering wood._

_Harley's brows furrowed in confusion. These woods seemed so lifeless and barren. What could possibly be making such a commotion?_

_A thud and more crackling wood. Closer this time. Much closer. Whatever it was, it was fast._

_Harley's heart began to pump faster. She bit her lip as her blue eyes scanned the blackened woods beyond the silent attendants lining the pathway. _

_Only darkness stared back._

_A pound rattled the skeletal branches above her head, causing small branches to rain down upon her blonde pigtails. The thing was definitely heading in Harley's direction, and with the speed and ferocity it was moving at, it had an agenda to keep. _

_More splintering trees, so loud that it resembled the delightful crack of fireworks being detonated._

_Harley was near her breaking point._

_One final slam into the ground. This one was deafening. The entire ground shook under its fury. The sound was extremely close, just beyond the tree line, but still invisible to the trembling blonde. Harley's instincts told her that she didn't want to lay eyes upon whatever it was, anyway._

_Silence fell over the woods. Harley quivered in uncertain fear, unable to move a muscle. She listened for a sign of her unwelcome guest. A sickly silence overwhelmed her senses. Nothing moved, nothing stirred. The only sound was the rapid thundering of her own heart in her ears…that it, until a gentle sound wafted over the trees and into her ears. The sound was so familiar, like a childhood memory that one could never place. It was like…like…_

…_laughter._

_With the fury of a vengeful god, the trees before Harley split apart and shattered into a billion tiny wooden shards. A gigantic black shape loomed over her, dwarfing the menacing trees. The form conjured tendrils from nothingness that slammed, gripped, uprooted and annihilated everything unwanted before it._

_Harley hadn't moved an inch. Her feet refused to accept any order from her brain. She was certain that her end was near. _

_The form stopped suddenly and loomed over the girl. The inky blackness nearly enveloped her as a white object appeared within the darkness…and then another…and another. Perfectly white objects materialized in two rows, one above the other, and continued to do so until they stretched the entire width of the shape. _

_The white objects curved upwards._

_It was obvious to her now what it was. _

_The Joker's smile was unmistakable._

"_Hhhaaarrllleeeyyyy….heheheh….Haaarrrleyyyy…eeeehheee…" The voice echoed within the depths of Harley's brain, prodding the poor girl's mind with unseen digits._

_Harley stared, horrified, as a black tendril slowly coiled painfully around her waist and began lifting her up._

"_Miiinnnee…not hersssss…alllwayysss…miiinneee…"_

_As if on cue, two thick green vines appeared from the ground and ripped Harley free of the dark bondage. They lifted her up high into the air and encased her frail body, defending her with their own tough flesh. More vines emerged from the fetid soil and rose, poised to strike should the need arise._

"_She is not yours. She is free. She is loved." A heavenly, feminine voice rang though her ears._

"_Alllwaayyss mine…never essscape…" the blackness hissed._

"_I am life. You are death. You have no place here." The remaining trees that lined the pathway groaned and shifted toward the black thing, breaking themselves free from the ground to stand on root-like feet. They lumbered towards it, branches raised and 'mouths' gashing wildly. _

_A single swipe of an inky tendri flattened the area with a destructive force that Harley had never seen. Every last tree and vine exploded into a burst of ash. Harley was tossed to the ground, but landed uninjured._

_Ash fell to the charred landscape like raindrops during a spring storm. The blood-red sun overhead seemed to weep sadness and despair. There was nothing left. No tree or blade of grass…no life remained. The last candle had been snuffed out._

_Another tendril wrapped around her body. It was incredibly painful, similar to angry hornets overwhelming her body and laying siege with a volley of fiery stingers. Harley squirmed and shouted for release, but it did little to help her predicament._

"_IIII….alwayyysss win….nooo essscape…jokerrr never lossssessss…"_

_The blackness enveloped the screaming girl as she went completely numb._

Harley's eyes immediately shot open as she bolted upright on the cot. Her eyes darted wildly about her unfamiliar surroundings as her mind struggled to comprehend everything around her.

Slowly, it all started coming back to her. The events of the past few days washed over Harley as her heart rate decelerated back to a normal pace. Her voyage to the Botanical Gardens…Ivy's new relationship with that bitch Rose…hurting Joker. It played through her mind like a movie, and she was the obvious star. The gentle drip of a leaky roof upon tile was enough to bring her back into her unwanted reality. She had no desire to be here. She wanted to be cuddled up close to her love, saturated in the scents and touches of the green goddess. Her heart ached as she pictured the woman lying nude beside her new fancy, stealing soft kisses and talking the morning away without leaving the blissful comfort of Ivy's king-sized bed.

"_Red probably made Rose immune like me, so they can play"_, Harley thought miserably. She sighed at the very thought. It was making her feel sick, like she was coming down with the flu or something.

This wasn't a bacterial or viral infection though. This was far more potent in Harley's universe. It was the pang of a broken heart, and was a familiar feeling by now.

Sighing again, the blonde glanced down. The red blanket that had warmed her throughout the rainy night was tightly wrapped around her midsection. She slowly fumbled with her bondage, wondering to herself how one could possibly wind themselves up this tight, especially while not even conscious. Wiggling her toes to restore circulation, Harley laid back down and placed a small hand on her forehead as yet another sigh escaped her delicate lips.

Why didn't Ivy love her anymore? How was she going to win her back? How could Ivy possibly find a lover overnight? Why did it take so long for her to realize she loved Ivy? The questions assaulted Harley's weary mind, but with no answers, Harley just closed her eyes to catch a few more moments of sleep. The room went quiet, aside from the rhythmic dripping of the roof leak upon the tile floor.

"Not going back to sleep so soon, are we?"

Harley nearly hit the ceiling.

Following a less-than-graceful exodus from the cot, Harley landed flat on her face upon the cold tile. Her nose and face ached from the sudden impact, but it did little to deter the girl from quickly formulating a plan to effectively wipe this unwanted intruder from the face of the earth. The trespasser's lilting feminine voice did have an oddly familiar, sensual quality to it though...the sort of voice that would cause one to sell their treasured possessions and first-born children to please.

Sexy voice or not, this broad was going to rue the day she strolled into the hideout of Harley Quinn.

"_Uhh, hammer? Nope. Popgun? Nuh uh." _Harley's mind raced furiously as she lay motionless on the floor. _"Ivy's babies? Not this time. Shit! I gotta do SOMETHIN'!"_

Propelling herself to her feet in a single graceful movement, she spun around, grabbed an item, and leapt at the trespasser with a speed that surprised even herself. She credited such skills to years of intense acrobat and gymnastics training. The intruder, perhaps surprised by the speed of said talents, didn't move a muscle. Harley hoisted her white, fluffy pillow above her head and prepared to pummel her victim with a flurry of fabric and feathers the likes of which the world had never seen before this day. The blonde took a threatening step forward, bringing her face to within inches of the unknown person's features.

If she was going to have to kill someone first thing in the morning, she wanted to at least get an unrestricted view of the fear in their ugly eyes.

Every muscle in her firm yet slender body stopped dead when she focused on that all-too familiar face before her. The white-knuckle grip currently constricting the corner of her pillow loosened slowly as the furious anger and silly plan she concocted melted away into nothingness.

Poison Ivy's lips were curved upwards in an amused smirk as stared back at the girl.

"A pleasant morning to you too, Harley," Ivy said, still smirking all the while. "Did you sleep well?"

Their faces were still mere inches apart. If Harley was in a clearer state of mind, she would have probably leaned forward without another word to get exactly what she had pined for these past few long days. Unfortunately, the sudden shock of the current events clouded her judgement. She remained perfectly still, drinking in Ivy's incredible physique. She had dressed herself in her criminal outfit…a midnight green body piece, gloves and boots covered emerald flesh. Harley's eyes couldn't help but drift down Ivy's soft cheeks and over her swan-like neck before finally reaching the valley between Ivy's breasts. It was made to be an even more amazing sight because of her constricting costume.

Ivy's outfits never left much to the imagination, and it was a sight Harley couldn't get enough of.

A slender gloved finger gently placed itself beneath Harley's chin, and with a diminutive amount of force, it raised the blonde's gaze back to eye level. Harley's cheeks now had a slight rouge tint to them, and it wasn't because of the seemingly-increasing temperature of the once cool room. Her eyes slid shut, lost in the ecstasy of such a minimal amount of contact.

Ivy stood, leaning on the dresser, blocking the vanity from view with her well-endowed frame. She still had that classic seductive smile adorning her poisonous lips as she ran her fingertips up from Harley's chin to softly glide the back of them across the girl's cheek. Ivy made certain to take her time, savouring such closeness to the girl who had captivated her jaded heart from day one. The woman could feel the rush of Harley's laborious breath on her lips and cheeks, and the sweet fragrance of bubblegum wafted into her nostrils. From her current position, Ivy knew a simple lean was all it would take to close the gap between the two would-be lovers, but the green woman relented.

_That will come in time, darling. I'll make it up to you…just you wait._

The entire process was exceptionally slow and torturous for the poor blonde.

Ivy finally broke the silence again after lowering her hand from Harley's cheek. A whimper escaped the blonde's lips, derived from the sudden loss of contact.

"I asked you a question, Harley. How did you sleep?"

Harley's eyes fluttered open. She could hardly believe what just happened…if it happened at all. She wasn't even sure which way was up anymore. Unfortunately, Ivy seemed to be awaiting some sort of response, so the blonde just shook her head and took a step back.

"Yeah, uh, I slept good, Red. Great snooze."

Ivy raised an eyebrow as she cocked her head to the left.

"Are you certain? I couldn't help but notice that you woke with a start. A nightmare, perhaps?"

Harley sighed. "Yeah, maybe. It was more weird than scary, I guess."

"Poor dear." Ivy shook her head. "That's the strange thing about nightmares, Harley. They seem so frightening at first, but when you look back at them, they seem so silly and foolish."

"Yeah, tell me about it…" The earlier comments suddenly dawned on her. "Hey! Were you watchin' me sleep or somethin'?" Harley furrowed her brows ever so slightly. The truth was that Harley was quite delighted that Ivy was here, and she didn't give a flying fig whether or not Ivy was watching her sleep. She knew that once they were finally together, it would be a normal occurrence. However, Harley felt the need to challenge Ivy at this time, perhaps hoping to break through her stubbornness to make her realize they belong with one another.

Ivy's face went blank. She could sense Harley's sudden apparent hostility in the tone of her voice. Slightly thrown, the green woman attempted to regain the upper hand of the conversation.

"Certainly not," she responded nonchalantly. "I'm just checking up on my dearest friend. I figured that last night may have been hard on you, with the storm and all. You looked as though you wouldn't dry out for a month."

Harley crossed her arms, but said nothing. Their eyes locked.

"Besides, I didn't realize that I require your permission to enter my own hideout."

"EX-hideout," Harley was certain to stress the word 'ex'.

Ivy sighed loudly, tilted her head back and ran slender fingers through her crimson locks.

The sight and sound nearly drove Harley up the wall with lust. It took every fibre of her being to not lunge forward.

"I didn't come here to argue with you, Harl." Ivy's features softened. " I was…worried, that's all."

Ivy was indeed worried. It had been the first time that she had ever sent Harley away, and the fact that she had suffered grievous wounds from the maniacal hands of the Joker had made it that much more difficult to do so. Ivy originally wanted to allow Harley to make the next move, but her emotions got the better of her for perhaps the first time in her existence. She needed to be certain that the girl was alright…to see it with her own eyes.

Breaking the rules for Harley was something that came naturally to Ivy anyway.

"Does Rose know?" Harley asked, Ivy's earlier comment not quite sinking in at this time.

"Know what?"

"That yer here, and not out blowin' up bulldozers or whatevah."

"Don't even worry about her. She's completely clueless." Ivy smiled at the blonde.

Harley considered that for a moment. Ivy certainly didn't seem to be in love with Rose. It was nothing like Harley and Joker's 'romance', where the blonde couldn't shut up for five seconds about her puddin', and every word that spilled from her mile-a-minute mouth was another testament to his greatness.

"I don't see why ya wanna waste yer time with that girl, Red. Can she wire a bomb with seven dummy triggers? Huh? Can she flip through a gazillion laser beams to swipe a pretty diamond, then do it again to get away? Don't think so." Harley stepped back from Ivy.

"Well, she has many desireable features that I find simply irresistible." Ivy pursued Harley by closing the gap between them with a step forward.

"Yeah? Like what?" Harley was getting annoyed.

"She's incredibly smart, but seems to have the entire world fooled with an impressive façade that makes me often wonder how she does it." Ivy was hoping that Harley would pick up on the subliminal messaging 'hidden' within her words. "She has a carefree attitude that reflects in her work, and she always seems to somehow make me smile in my darkest moments." Ivy took another step forward.

Harley once again locked eyes with the object of her desires. _She doesn't mean…_

Ivy continued. "She's an unstoppable force, a silly clown, and a brilliant woman all rolled up into one incredible package." Ivy stepped forward again, now within arm's reach.

Harley didn't know what to think.

Ivy reached over to Harley's head and fingered a few loose blonde strands that had fallen into her eyes. "The blonde hair is the icing on the cake." The green woman couldn't suppress a grin as she watched Harley's eyes close again and rub her nose and cheeks into Ivy's hand.

Ivy left it there for a several long seconds, observing Harley's reaction and revelling in the feeling.

Harley's mind was spinning in unstoppable loops.

_First, she comes over all by herself…then says she's worried 'bout me….wait, what? She said she was…worried? Did I hear that right, or did I have somethin' crazy in my ear?_

"Waaaiiit a sec!" Harley's eyes fired opened again. "Did ya say you were worried about me? You don't worry 'bout nuthin', 'cept yer babies."

Ivy just shrugged. "You looked a little ragged last night, Harley. We are friends, you know…or am I the only one who sees it that way?" She raised an eyebrow in mock irritation.

"uh…no…yeah…we're pals…good pals. BEST pals."

"Glad you agree. So, being your 'best pal' and all (she formed her fingers into quotation marks in front of her, earning a smirk from Harley), I came to see if the gel I gave you healed you up like I designed it to."

"The wha?"

That comment earned a hard stare from Ivy. Gripping Harley's waist with her left hand to immobilize her, she lifted the blonde's chin with her right to examine her neck. After a few seconds of staring, she hooked a finger on the collar of Harley's new shirt and pulled down, exposing her lower neck and upper chest for further examination.

Those actions, combined with Ivy's face hovering near her yet again, caused Harley to release a gentle sigh. The rosy glow returned to her face as Ivy's exhaled breath warmed her chest and her stomach was churning as Ivy gently tightened the grip on Harley's hip. She hoped this moment would last a lot longer than it probably would.

"Harley!" Ivy nearly shouted in a firm voice as she released Harley entirely. "Didn't you listen to a single word I said last night!?"

"Uh, sure I did, Red."

"Then tell me why you chose to completely disregard what I told you to do." Ivy crossed her arms.

"What're ya talkin about?"

Ivy shoved the tube of bright green gel in Harley's face. Harley went cross-eyed trying to stare at the object.

"Oooohh…whoops. I was really tired, ya see…and…uhm…"

"You are hopeless." Ivy cut her off "It's certainly a good thing I chose to stop by, or you probably never would have used it at all! How am i supposed to help you when you won't even help yourself?

"I would have used it! Honest!"

"I suppose it's partly my fault. I should have noticed it as soon as I arrived." Ivy's mind was on things other than that small tube of gel when she tip-toed into her old hideout…more specifically, resisting the temptation to crawl under the blankets of the cot with her.

"Sorry, Red…" Harley hung her head and stared at the floor. The off-white tiles had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the room, aside from the obviously upset redhead that was staring her down with her all-too familiar glare.

Ivy just sighed. She supposed she should be angry, or perhaps even slightly surprised…but the truth was that she wasn't. Not in the least. The girl could be so brilliant one moment, and so forgetful and silly the next. She supposed it could be a result of what the doctors of Arkham had labeled her as…"criminally insane" was the term for it. Ivy just assumed it was the enigma that was Harley Quinn, and she loved her for it.

"Sit" Ivy instructed, stepping to the side and pointing to the dresser's polished surface.

"Why?"

Ivy removed her gloves and set them gently on the cot before taking the tube of gel in her hand. "If I can't trust you enough to do this simple task yourself, I will take it upon myself to make sure it gets done properly."

Those words constricted Harley's heart. The very last thing she ever wanted to do was to lose Ivy's trust. They were partners in crime, and if they had any chance of being together, she had to make sure Ivy really did trust her if it was going to last.

"Red, no! Please, I was really gonna to do it! Promise!" Harley shot out frantically. "You gotta believe me. I just kinda forgot last night, because I got so distracted by all the cool stuff ya left me! Did I thank ya for it? I meant to."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, THANKS RED!" Harley exclaimed cheerfully as she leaned in close and kissed Ivy's green cheek before she realized what was happening. Her lips lingered on her flesh for a few seconds, noting the distinct and rapid rise in the skin's temperature.

Ivy just froze, her sharp mind unable to compute the sudden turn of events.

Harley then slowly pulled away with a wide grin upon her features. Placing a small hand on Ivy's shoulder, the blonde spoke in a soft voice.

"Red, I'm serious…and I gotta be, because I never am." Ivy just shook her head at the sheer insane silliness of that comment. "Yer trust means the world to me. It really hurts if you say you can't trust me, cuz we're best pals, remember? I'm sorry if I made you mad at me, but you know you can trust me, right?" Harley's eyes moistened with unshed tears, her grin all but faded.

Ivy just nodded, breaking Harley's stare.

"I trust you Harley. I trust you with my life, and with the lives of my precious babies. I was just speaking out of frustration, and perhaps I…selected a poor choice of words." Ivy placed her hands upon Harley's hips.

Harley smiled, and with shaking appendages, embraced her emerald goddess by wrapping her arms around her neck. Ivy's hands slid across the blonde's waist and up her back, pressing one body flush against the other. There they stood for a few moments, Harley's eyes closed and face buried deep in Ivy's neck, taking in the scents of what she desired so deeply.

_It's not a kiss, but one step at a time, I guess._

They finally separated some time later, both sporting adorable grins that spoke volumes of unspoken words.

Ivy silently motioned to the desk again and wiggled the tube between her index finger and thumb. Harley nodded and smiled, hopping up and lifting her chin up.

"This shouldn't hurt, Harley. It will hopefully just feel cold."

"Hopefully?" she gulped.

"Yes, hopefully." Ivy squeezed some gel out of the tube and set it aside. Vigorously rubbing her hands together, she glanced at Harley's neck and sighed. "How dare he do this to such lovely flesh," she muttered.

A hidden smile crept over the blonde's face.

"Okay, now hold your shirt's collar down like I did earlier." Ivy instructed. "This stuff probably stains clothes…or dissolves it. The tests were iffy at best."

Harley nervously complied.

"I really must grab more ingredients while I am out at the Gotham City Mall with Rose this afternoon." Ivy said slowly, making sure Harley picked up on every single carefully placed word. A low growl erupting from the blonde's throat indicated that the words had hit their mark. "I think 3:30pm is an odd time to shop, but what do I know?"

The sound of Harley's teeth grinding together perked up the corners of her lips.

"Alright! Now, sit still. This won't take long."

Ivy placed her hands on either side of Harley's bruised neck and slowly caressed her damaged flesh. With careful pressure on just the right areas, the redhead's slender fingers rubbed and stroked Harley's mind into a pile of unrecognizable mush. The rhythmic pace drove Harley further into the arms of pleasure as gentle gasps and moans escaped the blonde's quivering lips. Ivy leaned closer to the girl, ensuring that her hot breath intermingled with the coolness of the medicinal gel now coating Harley's neck. The result was a shudder erupting from the girl's body, causing her to slide forward slightly on the dresser. Ivy giggled seductively as Harley struggled to keep herself upright. It was a battle she appeared to be losing.

However, as soon as it began, it was all over. Ivy wiped the remaining gel from her fingers and picked up her gloves. Smirking to herself, she gripped Harley's shoulder and shook her.

"Harley? Hey, Harley!" She snapped her fingers in front of the blonde's dumbfounded face.

Harley's eyes fluttered open.

"Let that stuff sit for a few minutes. Perhaps you should lay down in the meantime. You look exhausted."

Harley nodded dumbly as she watched Ivy stroll seductively to the concrete steps leading out of the hideout, her hips swaying all the while.

"Don't be a stranger, darling." Ivy raised a hand as a goodbye as she ascended the stairs, slid the door open, and slipped outside into the bright sunlight. The door slammed shut behind her.

Harley, unable to respond to the redhead, simply slid off the dresser and flopped on the cot, mentally exhausted.

The blonde had only been awake for less than an hour, and already she was prepared to head off to bed again...except this time, not alone.

**A/N****: I hope this whole chapter wasn't too over-the-top. I wanted some Ivy / Harley interaction, and a lot of feelings for both of them seem to have been brought to the surface. As always, many thanks to Ice Dragon 3, and a special shout out to Kutkornerz for helping me with ideas and editing. =)**


	7. Snake in the Grass

**A/N****: The delay wasn't entirely caused by writer's block this time! Doom 3 has been very busy making me its bitch over the past little while. (Curse you Cyberdemon!) Halloween has been hectic as well. I regret nothing. LONG CHAPTER ALERT!**

**Disclaimer****: All characters, aside from Rose, belong to DC and its respective entities. I don't own anything, much to my dismay. One, two, please don't sue!**

**HANDS OFF!**

Chapter Six: Snake in the Grass

_3:30 Gotham mall…_

_3:30 Gotham mall…_

Such simple words, an ordinary sentence uttered without a second thought. To most, it would seem like polite banter on Ivy's part…just a brief interlude, perhaps meant to save a dwindling conversation. Most other people would have likely dismissed the comment without thinking much of it.

Not Harley though. She was smarter than that.

In Harley's mind, Ivy had made a grievous error. Her thoughts were perhaps lost in the task of caring for the lingering injuries adorning the blonde's throat, but Ivy had dropped her guard in the process. The vital information Harley required slipped from the redhead's venomous lips, and she had every intention of exploiting it. Armed with the knowledge of the time and location of the 'date', Harley attempted to cook up the perfect solution of eliminating Rose from the picture once and for all. Try as she may, a single distracting question lingered. She found herself unable to concentrate on the task at hand, and instead took a few moments to ponder.

Why did Ivy let such important information slip out?

Harley knew Ivy inside and out. They had been best friends for several years, ever since that fateful heist in the Gotham City Museum all those nights ago. The duo had been through a number of Arkham Asylum lockup stints together as well, arguing over the remote in the recreation room and sitting together at lunch like best friends would. Harley had also stayed in Ivy's lair on the several sporadic occasions that Joker had lost his temper, and in doing so, she had learned a lot about the plant goddess.

Everything Ivy did had purpose. There was not a single action taken or word spoken that wasn't thought through to its fullest extent. Every consequence and repercussion was weighed, and only the greatest and most effective solution was carried out. That is just how Ivy operates, whether she even realizes it or not. Harley had always admired that quality about the redhead. It is just one of many reasons the blonde would never leave her side.

It didn't hurt that Ivy had a figure of a goddess, and one that Harley fantasized about on a frequent basis.

Lustful attraction aside, Harley found herself with no answer to speak of. Things were not adding up. Her failure to resolve the matter left her flustered and on edge…until she remembered what also had transpired.

Ivy had hugged her.

Harley knew that friends hugged each other all the time and this had not been the first time Ivy had made contact with her. On more than one occasion, Ivy had wrapped an arm around her shoulder while discussing the riches and rewards they were on the verge of plundering. On one instance, Harley had fled to the redhead yet again after receiving a rather severe beating from her ex infatuation. After she had administered first aid to the best of her abilities, Ivy remained beside the girl all through the night…running slender fingers through blonde strands and whispering relaxing words into her ear.

That night had been burned into Harley's memory.

This hug was different though. It was more than one would give a friend. Harley vividly remembered how tightly Ivy had held her, and that the scent of her crimson hair left the lovesick girl borderline intoxicated. Harley had purposely leaned into her, and the blonde felt Ivy reciprocate in kind, ensuring that not an inch of open space separated them. The action itself seemed to last an eternity. It had been such an intense moment that Harley could feel her heart racing and her knees tremble at the very thought of it. Although it was just a hug, the overwhelming desire from both recipients was as plain as day.

Harley wanted more. She HAD to have more. As Gaia as her witness, she was going to get it from Ivy if she has to step over Rose's cold confetti-stuffed corpse in the process to do so.

It was likely going to happen that way anyway.

_3:30 Gotham mall…_

Harley sat up on the cot and rubbed her temples. She had remained there since Ivy's swift departure, lost in her thoughts and unanswered questions. Although she was momentarily content with snuggling in her soft blanket, a glance at the small wall clock hanging above the dresser indicated it was time to her rear in gear. Ivy would be leaving for the mall soon, and Harley planned on intercepting her, sweeping her off her feet, and heading off into the sunset hand in hand with her lover.

_Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? _

With a soft sigh, she rose to her feet and lightly stepped to the dresser.

After changing into a conservative red shirt (it was a little long for Harley's taste), she swapped her grey sweatpants for a pair of blue jeans and put a pair of grey socks on to cover her bare feet.

Rummaging through the very bottom drawer, Harley discovered a pair of pink and white running shoes. Smirking from her good fortune, she quickly scooped them up and prepared to slide them on. As her nimble fingers untied the laces, Harley's sharp eyes caught a glimpse of something residing on the inside of the right shoe.

Without a moment's hesitation, she slid the item out of its hiding place.

What she saw warmed her heart.

It was a black and white photo, likely cut out of a newspaper. It depicted Harley and Ivy, side by side and all smiles. Although she couldn't quite recall the instance on which the photo was taken, she still admired it. Written at the bottom of the photo were the simple words 'BEST PALS' elegantly printed in red ink.

Smiling to herself, Harley tucked the photo into her pocket.

She was up the stairs and out the door in a flash, quickly making her way to the Gotham City Mall.

_**Some time later…**_

"Hey, watch where you're going!"

"Oh my, how dreadfully rude!"

"You haven't seen anything yet, lady!"

Poison Ivy locked eyes with the woman unfortunate enough to invade her personal space, the glint of irritation and borderline insanity present within her eyes.

It had been forty five minutes since Rose and Ivy had arrived at the Gotham City mall, and already the green woman had managed to pick three fights, overturn two display tables, and threaten twelve people with physical violence and dismemberment. It seemed that no matter which direction she turned, progressed, shuffled or tip-toed down the rows of overpriced and under-protected shops and concession stands, there was another one of Gotham's hapless citizens barring her path. It wasn't bad enough that the crowds were extra thick that day (even at such an odd time of the afternoon), but it seemed as though the most foul, noisiest and unhygienic people in the city had congregated earlier, had a discussion, and all agreed that they would make it their life's goal to harass Poison Ivy and stumble into her at every opportunity that presented itself.

So far, they had excelled at it.

Ivy was frustrated beyond belief. She hated this entire scene. Although the redhead had known ahead of time that the mall was one of the social beacons of Gotham City, she had planned her 'shopping trip' to occur at a time in which the crowds would be somewhat thin and spaced out. A leisurely stroll down empty corridors would have been just the relaxation she needed before Harley would appear to profess her love for her right on the spot, in front of the world. If Rose just so happened to vanish from the face of the earth shortly thereafter, it would be the perfect end to a perfect day.

Unfortunately for Ivy, this was Gotham City…a place known the world over for shitting on those with high hopes and grand designs. A lovesick maiden with the highest of hope and expectations stood very little chance in achieving what she desperately desired. The powers that be seemed quite content with making no exceptions for a feisty redhead with green skin, because what Ivy saw the instant she stepped into the mall absolutely horrified her.

The 'empty corridors' were, in reality, not so empty at all. Shoppers darted about from store to store, snatching up every conceivable item their greedy hands could reach. The few that felt that prices were unfair wasted the time of others by halting all transactions in an attempt to haggle out a more acceptable cost. The crowds filed down the main shopping area with the efficiency of an assembly line. In various locations around the mall, several large groups, mostly foul-mouthed young adults, congregated to plan their various misdeeds for the day. Everywhere, from the food court to the equally packed second tier, had people shuffling, laughing, screaming, and crying. The conditions were unfortunate to even seasoned shoppers, and spelled certain disaster to claustrophobic and crowd-shy individuals.

Poison Ivy most certainly fell into the latter category, and it didn't take long for her last nerve to sizzle like the deep-fried, indigestible morsels of Rick's Fry'n'Drive.

After several run-ins with various people and inanimate objects, the woman that had just foolishly stumbled into the green woman would make a prime example as to what happens to those who were stupid enough to violate the personal space of one of Gotham City's rogue elite.

Ivy's eyes narrowed as she slowly balled her fists. A deranged smirk crept over her soft lips.

The stranger that had collided with Ivy, to her credit, stood her ground momentarily. The woman's features hardened as she took a defensive posture, raising her handbag up in front of her chest to form some sort of makeshift shield. Either she was completely ignorant as to who she had disturbed, or was entirely confident in her abilities to defend herself. In any case, the crowded scene was mere seconds away from becoming a war zone.

Rose was becoming increasingly nervous, her eyes darting back and forth between the two would-be combatants. She knew she had to defuse the situation somehow, but if any of the stories regarding Poison Ivy's legendary temper were true, she needed to think fast.

A small number of civilians were starting to assemble around the three women. The murmur of a possible fight right there in the open had quickly circulated through the crowds, drawing in those who craved the violence that a catfight would surely promise.

Rose, finally deciding on an idea, took a few steps towards the quickly-deflating stranger. The woman's stoic features now presented a small element of fear and uncertainty, and she trembled softly.

All of those actions only proved to fuel Ivy's aggressiveness as she took a step forward.

Rose leaned in within whispering distance to the woman.

The stranger's gaze shifted nervously from Ivy to Rose as she raised an eyebrow, not knowing what to expect from her.

"You'll…uh…have to excuse her", Rose softly murmured into the woman's ear. "It's that time of the month for her." She motioned with her thumb in Ivy's direction and scrunched up her face. Rose then bobbed her head up and down gently to feign both sympathy and amusement.

The woman simply stared at Rose for a moment, uncertain of what to think. When sufficient time had passed for her sub-par mind to process Rose's words, her eyes went wide as she nodded slowly in synch with Rose.

"Ahhh, I understand completely!" the woman finally exclaimed. Her expression was now soft and forgiving, as if she herself had been through such a situation many times before.

"Yes, well, maybe you should go then", Rose continued to whisper, just out of audible range of Ivy. "She can get nasty, and I don't mean in a fun way. I'm not sure how much longer she'll hold back."

The woman quickly nodded and smoothed out her ruffled blue dress. She swiftly turned on her heels to leave.

This action, as unintentional as it was, infuriated Ivy even further. A low growl erupted from between the redhead's clenched teeth as her eyes sharpened in intensity. She was quickly approaching the point of going completely berserk.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?!" Ivy shouted at the back of the woman, "Don't you DARE turn your back on me!" Oh, this was the final straw. This miscreant's fate was sealed. Her babies would dine well tonight.

Rose quickly darted back to Ivy and grabbed her arm, temporarily dragging the redhead's attention from the retreating lady. She breathed a gentle sigh of relief as the woman was at least smart enough not to waste any time taking her leave and began to work her way through the quickly-shrinking mob in the opposite direction.

Ivy immediately yanked her arm out of Rose's grasp and released an irritated snarl. The woman forgotten momentarily, Ivy turned her attention to her unwanted cohort and saviour of her enemy.

"Don't ever touch me again!" Ivy hissed as she massaged the part of her upper arm that Rose had previously seized. "I'll have you know that I've maimed for much less!"

Rose's glance into Ivy's livid eyes weakened, and she shifted her gaze in any direction but hers.

"I just don't want us to get kicked out or anything. It seems as though you're attracting some attention." Rose motioned with her eyes to two grey-haired security guards staring in their direction from behind a pillar. They exchanged nervous glances with one another when Ivy turned to look at them.

The rogue scoffed. "Those two fools couldn't toss out a child, let alone someone with abilities such as mine."

Rose just shrugged. "Maybe not, but I think that keeping a somewhat-low profile might be best at the moment. I'm not really sure if you're wanted or anything, but having Batman come crashing through a skylight to arrest the both of us would sort of ruin my day."

"Well who cares what you thi…." Ivy stopped herself mid sentence as a blonde teenager with pigtails came strutting past the two women. The girl, with a big mouthful of gum, blew a big pink bubble and popped it as she hummed a nameless turn. Ivy watched, entranced, as the girl quickly vanished into the crowds.

Images of Harley immediately began swirling around Ivy's mind. Her cheeks began to emanate a rosy glow as her mind began to wander. Sexual frustration had most certainly begun to take its toll.

Rose just shook her head and sighed. She had been made very aware of the feelings the two rogues shared for one another, and although she didn't mind the whole same-sex situation, she knew that she didn't exactly fit into the picture. The reason why Poison Ivy was even continuing to allow her to tag along eluded her, but that really didn't matter anymore.

She had her own agenda to keep now.

Rose cleared her throat, successfully snapping Ivy from her reverie.

The woman's features quickly hardened in annoyance when she remembered who her company was. Sighing to herself, she pinched the bridge of her nose and shut her eyes tightly.

"How is the serum working? Is my skin still pink?" Ivy asked, deciding that a switch in conversation would be the best course of action.

Rose examined Ivy's features quickly, and then nodded. "Yeah, it looks good. I still can't believe you figured out how to change your skin colour temporarily. You really are a genius!"

"It was quite simple, really. I'd explain it to you, but I doubt you could grasp any of it."

"Yeah…uh, maybe you can write it down later or something."

"Maybe, but don't get your hopes up."

Ivy's discovery of the pigment-altering compound was anything but simple, and was discovered completely by accident. She had stumbled upon the formula while she was attempting to alter her more voracious, bloodthirsty flora into gaining the markings and colorations of less harmful species for obvious applications. After several failed attempts, the bio-chemist added trace amounts of her own tissue and blood to the mix out of simple frustration. The end result was nothing Ivy could have ever imagined, and she quickly mass-produced the compound for her own use. She knew the art of camouflaging herself to blend in better with the urban environment would have countless uses during her misdeeds around Gotham City.

Rose simply shrugged again.

"Rose, what time do you have"? Ivy inquired. They had been at the mall for what seemed like an eternity with no sightings of the real Harley.

Rose glanced at her watch. "Its 3:55...ten minutes since the last time you asked me."

"Oh, right." Ivy sighed and surveyed the crowds.

_Where the hell are you, girl? I know you won't stand me up. If you're serious about staying with me this time, you have to be around here somewhere…_

"C'mon," Rose said as she motioned towards the food court in the distance, "let's grab a bite, then we can get the items on your list…if you can stay out of trouble that long." Rose glanced away sheepishly from the glare that Ivy was no doubt giving her.

"Fine," Ivy grumbled. She normally wouldn't just simply give in to the suggestions of others, but she was sick and tired of being right in the middle of everything. Perhaps the food court would be less populated.

Ivy was just about to make a move when she saw him.

A tall blonde man wearing a cheap blue blazer was sitting on a nearby bench, reading a newspaper.

Normally Ivy wouldn't think twice about him, but something about him seemed…off. He was out of place. The man was alone, and had no bags or purchased items with him. His eyes stared straight at the paper, unmoving, as if waiting for the right moment to look away.

As if on cue, his eyes darted from the paper and met Ivy's narrowing eyes. He quickly glanced back at the paper.

Ivy stood motionless for a moment and stared at him, trying to recall if she'd ever laid her eyes upon the stranger before. Taking a mental inventory of familiar faces, she came up empty. Despite this, however, she still couldn't shake the uneasy feeling this man was giving her.

"Must be F.B.I. or something." Ivy finally muttered to herself, coming to no other conclusion. Even though she didn't have any outstanding warrants, the redhead knew that Johnny Law liked to keep tabs on the temporarily cured rogues and villainy of the city, so they could be quickly apprehended, should they relapse.

A cough from Rose released the tension that was building up around Ivy.

Ivy shook her head and began walking towards the food court.

"Rose, what time do you have?"

With Ivy's attention elsewhere, Rose shared a brief glimpse with the man on the bench. They nodded at one another before she quickly sprinted back to the redhead's side.

_**Nearby on the second floor, overlooking the mall courtyard…**_

Harley Quinn released a long sigh as she drummed her fingers on the polished table surface. For nearly half an hour, she had been eyeing the shuffling mob on the ground floor beneath her in hopes of spotting that signature fiery red mane she had grown so fond of. Having seated herself at the table with the finest view of the lower storey while simultaneously concealing herself from view, she knew she had the perfect spot in which to survey the action below her. Also, fortunately for her, the other patrons of the shopping centre seemed to prefer to congregate around the other tables in more accessible regions of the seating area, thus leaving her alone with her thoughts.

The seconds ticked by at an excruciatingly slow rate.

Harley felt on edge. She could barely contain herself. She wanted to see Ivy again.

She NEEDED to see Ivy again.

The drumming of her fingers upon the tabletop intensified. Her breaths were shallow and swift. Harley couldn't sit still for more than a few seconds before shifting and squirming in the inflexible plastic chair, and her right foot was becoming increasingly exhausted from tapping on the ground.

She twirled a strand of her blonde hair around her index finger as she sighed again.

Although it was certain that such actions were symptoms of lovesickness, it was also very likely that the three cinnabons eaten in fifteen minutes didn't help to curb her restlessness either.

Harley's tongue darted out the corner of her mouth and claimed a tiny morsel of crusted sugar. It dissolved within her mouth in less than a second. The brief taste lingered momentarily.

A thought wafted through Harley's mind regarding the possible flavours of a certain redhead. It brought a lustful smirk to her soft features.

It didn't take long to snap back to reality, though. After yet another unsuccessful glance at the crowds below, Harley reached into her back left pocked and removed the small photo she had recovered while getting dressed earlier that day.

Unfolding it, she stared intently at Ivy's sensual image. Thin, gloved fingers of one hand rested on a slim waist. The other was draped over a certain harlequin's shoulder, entangled within her own fingers. A wide, radiant smile graced Ivy's face.

It was a rare occurrence that the redhead would break her usual solemn expression in such a way, but Harley knew that love made people do crazy things...crazy, homicidal, murderous things. She didn't realize it at the time the photo was taken, but the blonde had quickly figured out that Ivy was desperately clinging to her, wanting to believe with every fibre of her being that she and the Joker were through and that Harley would stay for good.

The blonde had returned to her puddin' the very next day, and had crushed Ivy's heart yet again.

Harley's stomach churned at the thought of bringing so much pain to the woman she loved. It was torturous, but she knew it was nothing compared to what Ivy had felt so many times in the past. She was entirely to blame, too. There was no passing of the torch in this situation.

Now was the time for redemption, though. She would make up for everything, in more ways than one. She would show Ivy love in its purest form, and deliver passion and lust that would surely eliminate any doubt whatsoever that Harley would every leave again.

If only the redhead would show up. Rose would die of course, but that's a very small and insignificant price to pay.

Just then, an oddly familiar voice cut through the garbled noises of the crowd below.

"What a disgusting meal! I don't know why I ever allowed you to talk me into it!"

Harley's heart quite literally skipped a beat. Her eyes darted back and forth over the mob, unable to pinpoint the origin of the voice…the most beautiful voice on this earth. A voice so melodious and sweet that just to hear it sent a delightful shiver through her entire body.

"I swear I wouldn't force feed that crap to a dirty dog in the street, let alone someone I was desperately trying to impress!"

Oh Gaia, how she had missed that beautiful voice.

With a renewed sense of spirit fuelling her body, Harley leapt to her feet and released an audible gasp. An open-mouthed smile followed suit as her eyes finally located her prize. A styled mane of crimson appeared from the mall area beneath her and walked in the opposite direction of her. A rather flustered young blonde woman followed behind her, obviously weary of Ivy's irate behaviour.

It gave Harley a sensation of pride to know that her Pammie had the ability to ruin her newly-sworn enemy's day with so little effort.

The blonde bit her lip in anticipation. Slowly, she rose from the unforgiving plastic seat and placed her hands on the steel railing that prevented her from plummeting over the edge. Her cobalt eyes followed every one of Ivy's movements. Each sway of her hips and flick of her scarlet locks only intensified the myriad of emotions bubbling up inside of Harley. Within no time at all, her cheeks began to emanate a soft ruby coloration, and her palms felt sweaty against the cold metal railing.

Harley's mind urged her to leap down and claim the woman she desperately desired, but her body refused to cooperate. All she could do was stand there, leaned over the railing, and observe her secret show for one. Harley was entranced at the simplest of movements, and she desperately prayed that Ivy would halt her stroll and turn her way. She wanted to lay eyes upon the features that took her breath away on a regular basis.

Her prayers were answered as Ivy stopped dead and whirled around on her heels. At first, Harley pondered that the redhead had felt her eyes upon her, like a weight bearing down on her shoulders. With the intensity of which she was staring, Harley wouldn't have been surprised at all. Maybe they had some subconscious, weirdo, mind meld thing going on.

Unfortunately, at this point in time, it was not the case.

Harley observed as a horrified expression slowly washed over Ivy's beautiful face. She watched her eyes carefully for any hint as to what had suddenly upset the plant woman so much. Harley knew this was serious, and that it derived from somewhere much more significant than a terrible meal at a mall restaurant.

An audible snarl of anguish cut through the air, effectively silencing every noise with a fifty foot radius of the redhead. The shoppers, after exchanging nervous glances among themselves, hastily fled the scene in every direction opposite of Ivy. A simple noise from one of Gotham's most notorious rogues had effectively scattered the crowd as if a bomb threat had just been announced. Only Rose dared to remain within the vicinity, but she was all but forgotten at the moment.

Ivy's expression of fury and disgust slowly melded into one of sympathy and regret as she slowly stepped towards the source of what had upset her so much.

"Oh sweetie, look at you." Ivy said softly as she approached a rather large potted plant that had been placed in the mall for simple decoration. The broad leaves of the plant were yellowed and drooping, an obvious testament to neglect from the mall groundskeepers. Ivy ran a finger over one particularly discoloured leaf and sighed. Her other hand reached down and took a handful of parched earth, kneading it between her fingers and letting it sprinkle back into the pot. It was bone dry.

Ivy shook her head, her mind lost in deep thought.

"Don't worry darling, mamma's here," Ivy cooed. "We're going to get you back to your former glory in no time at all, and those responsible for letting you suffer are going to pay." Her voice took a more serious tone during the latter sentence.

Rose stepped up close behind the redhead and raised an eyebrow at Ivy's passion for this simple plant.

"_It would just be cheaper and more time effective to throw this plant away and get a new one, rather than nurse it back to health."_ Rose thought. _"I guess the stories were true, and she really is obsessed."_

"Look at this!" Ivy exclaimed to no one in particular, although Rose happened to be the only one present to hear it. "How dare they let my children suffer like this! Humanity is most certainly cruel and selfish, but this takes the cake!"

_Her CHILDREN? This is getting a little weird…_

Rose shifted uneasily. She decided the best course of action was to remain silent. Ivy had that wild look in her eyes again and the simplest of comments or noises might set her off.

Harley, from her perfect vantage point, kept silent watch over the situation. Her position had still gone unnoticed by both women.

Ivy's eyes sharpened as she cast her gaze in the direction of a rather portly man in a beige uniform. He wore a white pith hat and lounged across a small, motorized cart loaded with gardening supplies, watering cans, and other unused plant care accessories. He lazily flipped through a celebrity tabloid magazine with a bored expression on his face, oblivious to Ivy's presence and the action going on around him.

The groundskeeper suddenly felt his skin prickle as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. It felt as though a great, malevolent force was present and preparing itself to tear him apart to devour his soul. He shifted in his seat nervously and sat up straight.

His eyes were drawn to Ivy's; the intensity of her stare was overwhelming. A wave of nauseam washed over him when he realized just who was giving him the death stare.

Raising her right hand in front of her, Ivy beckoned the man towards her with a 'come hither' motion of her index finger. Her expression was cold and unforgiving.

The mall employee instantly paled. He immediately disembarked the cart and stood, trembling under the iron stare of Poison Ivy. The man shook his head and held his hands in front of him, not wanting to have anything to do with the situation at hand.

Ivy just nodded, indicating that he was already in far too deep to just leave now. She decided that enough was enough and swiftly strode over to the man. She was in front of him in an instant, even before his brain could tell his legs to flee for his life. As much as Ivy wanted to grind this miscreant into fertilizer in order to rehabilitate her sickly 'child' back to health, she refrained. She was here for Harley, and had no desire to be dragged back to Arkham Asylum. The sooner she dealt with this situation, the quicker she could resume her hunt for the elusive blonde.

"I'm going to give you a lesson in plant care that most people don't even know exists," Ivy growled. "Put your listening ears on, as I don't care to repeat myself." The worker nodded weakly as Ivy began going into great detail as to the finer points of plant care in a way that his simple mind could grasp.

Rose smirked and quickly took advantage of the situation. "I'll just be over there until you're finished," she called over to the redhead as she motioned wildly to a metal bench nearby.

Ivy didn't even acknowledge her.

Harley watched Rose as she crossed the courtyard and took a spot on the bench. With the commotion now apparently over, brave citizens once again began sauntering through the previously avoided area. It didn't take long for things to return to normal as the crowds spaced out and filled the vicinity. The blonde finally had the opportunity to strike. Rose was all alone and defenceless, and with Ivy occupied, she could make it look like some sort of horrible accident.

She was a master of improvisation, after all.

Harley took a step back from the railing, only to return to it in a hurry.

A tall blonde man in a cheap blue blazer had taken a seat next to Rose.

_Damnit! This just isn't my day!_

Harley huffed as she slumped against the metal rail. More waiting. More wasted time away from Ivy. All this sitting around was seriously trying her patience.

She watched with annoyance as the man folded up a newspaper on his lap and took a glance around the area. People were walking and standing near them, but none took notice of their presence or actions. Satisfied they were not being watched, he placed the paper between the two of them. His hand swiftly placed a small piece of paper between the printed pages. The action was so subtle and practiced that Harley almost missed it. If she hadn't done the same action herself so many times in the past, Harley wouldn't have known what to look for. Her eyes went wide when she finally realized what was happening before her.

The man was delivering a message to Rose. A message…instructions…something secret that no one else needed to know about. Whatever it was, Harley needed to know what the note said. If she was that close to Ivy, then that means she could attack without warning in a moment in which her guard was down and she'd be unable to defend herself.

Harley gasped dramatically. _"Oh SHIT! She works fer Mistah J!"_

This changed everything. It was no longer about stalking Ivy in the mall in hopes of receiving physical gratification from the woman she loved. Ivy was in danger and Harley knew that she needed to protect her, just as the redhead had done for her in the past. Returning the favour was the absolute least she could do, and she certainly would not let a pasty, homicidal clown be her downfall.

Harley continued to observe as Rose picked up the newspaper and removed the note. After glancing at it momentarily, she stuffed it into her back pocket. The man in the blue blazer promptly stood and disappeared into the crowd without uttering a single word to his partner in crime. Rose stood as well, but turned in the opposite direction. The newspaper was left lying on the bench.

_Bingo, time to goooo._

Harley charged across the seating area and quickly made her way down the staircase that connected the two floors in the process; she bumped into a grizzled teenager, causing his poutine and large soft drink to dump onto the floor. Without even issuing an apology, she ducked her head and began weaving herself in, out, around, and through the crowds in hopes to approach Rose without detection.

Her skills in the stealthy arts had not diminished, and before long, she had effectively picked Rose's pocket. With the note in hand, she quickly ducked behind a pillar to read it. Her eyes went wide as she read the small, barely legible message.

_**Package is at the place**_

_**Get it and get P alone**_

_**If H shows up, leave it**_

_**J wants it untouched**_

_**If it all works, you can go**_

_**Failing will make you smile**_

Harley released a breath she didn't realize she was holding. It was Joker, alright. She knew this moment would come, but she didn't expect it to happen so quickly. She thought that she would have at least a month or so before whatever grandiose scheme the clown prince of crime had concocted would come to fruition. Planning takes time, and she thought she had more.

She had been sorely mistaken, and now Ivy was in danger of paying the price for her ignorance.

Ivy. She needed to warn her. There was no 'maybes' anymore. The plan was in motion. Harley knew that while Joker might act like a clown with flashy gimmicks and fancy designs, he was extremely set on seeing something through once it had begun. Only Harley stood in his way now.

"_Hey, maybe I should get Batsy to help me out," _Harley thought. _"He could bust in an' save the day like he always does. He'd toss Rose in the clink an' Me'n'Red could just up and leave…"_ Her thoughts were cut short by a rather overweight, balding man as he plowed right into her. The force nearly knocked Harley right off her small feet, and she stumbled several feet before regaining her balance.

"HEY! Watch yerself, pal!" Harley shrieked. "You know who I am? You know what I can do to ya if I wanted to?"

The man just shrugged. The gold chain hanging around his neck swayed gently as he turned and left.

Harley shook her head, disgusted. She could swear that the guy tried to cop a feel in the process of running into her.

Quickly forcing that event from her mind, she focused on finding Ivy and telling her about the plan Rose was involved in. Fortunately, Ivy hadn't moved from her previous position, and continued to lay out plant care instructions to the befuddled and weary groundskeeper.

Harley approached Ivy from behind and lightly placed a hand on her shoulder. Ivy batted it away without turning around, continuing on with her lecture on proper gardening techniques that dated back to medieval times. She tried again, gripping the plant woman's shoulder gently and giving it a gentle squeeze. This seemed to get her attention, and she stopped mid-sentence to glare at the source of the unwanted interruption.

The groundskeeper quickly seized the opportunity and fled.

"Harley…" Ivy whispered as her expression softened.

"Hey Red." Harley said with a smile. "Long time no see."

Ivy turned to face the girl and nodded. Her eyes wandered from Harley's eyes to her lips, then back again. A gentle rosy glow dusted her cheeks.

"Love the skin color." Harley remarked as she moved her hand from Ivy's shoulder to the base of her neck. "It's gonna go back to green though, right? This look is cool an' all, but I like the green betteh. It's way more exotic."

The contact on her bare skin made Ivy sigh softly.

"The effect is only temporary." Ivy stated, somehow able to keep the majority of her composure in tact. "While I am not entirely sure how long it will last, I assure you that my skin will return to its natural state soon."

Harley nodded, obviously disinterested in the subject matter at this point. Her thumb rhythmically caressed the pulse point of Ivy's neck. Its pace quickened substantially.

Ivy unconsciously took a tiny step forward. The sensation of Harley's hand caressing her flesh was causing her mind to spin, and she was quickly losing her senses. She broke eye contact with the blonde and glanced away. She needed to stop the motion before she lost all control, but her body was unwilling to respond.

Sensing that Ivy's façade was crumbling, Harley continued her advances. She had learned much from the redhead in the art of seduction over the years, and it appeared that the instructor was falling victim to her own teachings. The blonde leaned forward and continued.

"Red, I gotta talk to ya." Harley whispered into Ivy's flushed ear. She made certain to allow her warm breath to linger against Ivy's cheek. "It's super important, I swear."

The pleasant scent of cinnabons and bubblegum wafted into Ivy's nostrils.

"What…about?" Ivy forced out.

Harley's eyes surveyed the customers as they strolled to and fro. "I can't tell ya here. We gotta find somewhere quiet and not so busy."

"I can't…I'm here with…with…uh…" _Lavender? Lily? Agatha Fishbite? _Ivy's mind completely blanked.

Harley chuckled softly to herself and finished Ivy's sentence for her.

"Rose?"

"Yes! Rose. Rose is her name, alright." Ivy exclaimed. "I am here with Rose. Where is she anyway? RooOOOoose, darling? Where have you run off to, you silly girl?" Ivy used the opportunity to pull away from Harley and spun around, pretending to search frantically for her missing comrade. She secretly breathed a sigh of relief. She wanted Harley, that much was certain, but not here in front of everyone. The scumbags of the city would probably tape such a display and charge two bits a gander.

Harley sighed and grabbed Ivy's shoulder again, but this time there was no tender embrace. It was as if a steel clamp had latched onto her, and the redhead released a startled cry at the unexpected action. The blonde's eyes sparkled with urgency.

_Sorry Red, but this is important!_

"Red, seriously, listen to me!" Harley narrowed her gaze as Ivy's eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. "We gotta get outta here, like right-stat-now. I'm not playin' around here. Rose is _dangerous_." Harley made sure to whisper that final word ultra quietly, so much so that she barely heard it herself.

Ivy rolled her eyes and pried Harley's hand from its death grip on her shoulder.

"Jealousy is not a good look for you, Harl." She rubbed the tender area where the blonde had grabbed her. "That's going to leave a welt, you know. What's wrong with you?"

"You heal fast, don'cha? Besides, you think I'd do somethin' like that if it wasn't super duper important?"

Ivy looked towards the ceiling and tapped her chin in contemplation.

Harley, with sad and desperate eyes, awaited an answer. She didn't even notice Rose take a position behind her.

"Ms. Ivy? I think we need to get going. We haven't even gotten any items from your list yet." Rose said as she shot her rival blonde a dirty look. Harley responded by sticking her tongue out in a rather undignified manner.

Ivy finally nodded. "Yes yes, you're quite right. Come along Rose, let's finish shopping."

"Sure thing. There's a coffee shop just around the corner I wouldn't mind stopping at afterwards…if you don't mind, of course. My treat!" Rose's face broke out in a massive smile, trying it's hardest to persuade the plant woman.

_The package is at the place…_

Ivy smirked briefly at Harley before turning back to Rose.

"Why Rose, that sounds positively delightful!" the redhead gushed. "Yes, we shall do just that!"

Ivy then placed a hand on the woman's shoulder to guide her away from a now fuming Harley.

"Alright, THAT'S IT!" Harley shouted. "I'm gonna get you alone if I haveta…uhm…" Her mind shuffled through countless possibilities, but landed on the easiest one to do. A mischievous grin crept over her face as she once again made eye contact with Ivy.

"Uh, Harl? Whatever you have planned, please don't…"

"HEY EVERYONE!" Harley shouted out to all those within earshot. "Come on ovah! The show's about to begin!" She waved her hands around, inviting one and all to her potential one-woman performance.

"Show? Oh no. You wouldn't…"

Curious shoppers and bored teenagers alike were drawn to this woman's antics like moths to a flame. Harley was all smiles as she greeted the mob with handshakes and high-fives. People kept flocking towards them, and Ivy was becoming increasingly nervous from anticipating what was about to transpire before her. She knew that Harley thrived from public displays, but she often went so over-the-top with her antics that it was nothing more than embarrassing for her and those she was associated with.

"Now that we're all pals, I wanna introduce ya to one of mine!" She pointed both hands at a certain redhead. "This is my bestest friend! I call her Red, but you can call her Ivy! She's the best! Give her a hand folks, she deserves it for bein' a good sport!" Harley vigorously clapped her hands together and cheered praises to her.

Ivy's eyes went wide when dozens of eyes shifted to her. Random, scattered applause erupted from the crowd. Other people just exchanged confused looks and muttered amongst themselves.

Harley then cleared her throat. Ivy shook her head wildly in a vain attempt to prevent the inevitable action that was surely seconds away from drowning her in a sea of embarrassment.

Rose quickly stepped back and melted into the crowd.

"This one goes out to you, girl." She blew a kiss and winked at a horrified rogue.

"Harl, please, no, you…"

"**OOOOHHHHHH, give me a home where the buffaloooo roam, and the deer and the antelope plaaIIIIEEEEEEEE!**" Harley screeched, purposely butchering the song to the point of non-recognition. She stood on her tiptoes with her arms stretched out to either side of her body, projecting the brutalized lyrics to every last corner of the shopping centre. She sang and screamed with such gusto that without proper ear protection, the sound itself was capable of stripping the enamel from one's teeth.

The crowd groaned and clutched their hands over their ears, angry and painful expressions adorning their faces. Some couldn't contain their laughter, while others wasted no time in whipping out their cell phones to record the hilarity unfolding before them. Their eyes and cameras moved between the girl with the golden tonsils and a catatonic redhead.

Now, Ivy was used to being singled out and gawked at by the general public. She had learned to ignore the stares and snickers long ago, but this was more intense than anything she had ever suffered from. It was as though she had been put on a pedestal for the sole purpose of being mocked and humiliated, and she wouldn't have it any longer.

"**HOOOOME, home on the RAAAAAANGE"**

Ivy marched over to Harley, grabbed her hand, and dragged her towards a nearby door. If it was locked, there would be no survivors…

The blonde, halting her song, waved at the crowd and showered them with kisses as she willingly allowed herself to be led away.

"Thank you, Gotham! Be sure to tip your waitress!" She laughed. Ivy ripped the door open and shoved her inside. She then stepped in and slammed it behind her.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ivy immediately hissed when the door was securely shut and locked. "Why did you do that? Are there two touching wires in your brain that shouldn't be?"

Harley just shrugged and looked around at the dusty storage area they now found themselves in.

"I told ya it was important, Red. You wouldn't listen though."

"So that instantly gives you permission to mortify me beyond belief? Oh, the media is going to have a field day with this, you know! I'll be a laughing stock!" Ivy paced back and forth with a rather disgruntled expression on her face.

"So? Who cares? Pengy and Kitty wouldn't make fun of ya to yer face anyway." Harley grinned "If they do, I'll give 'em a whack across the chops. Pinkie promise."

Ivy halted her movements and stared at the beaming blonde next to her. Although she knew she was angry and had every reason to be, one glance at that adorable smile melted her frosty heart. The corners of her luscious lips tugged upwards as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Oh Harl, what am I going to do with you?" Ivy enquired softly, a playful hint of lust in her voice.

"Whatever ya want to, Red." Harley replied in an equally sultry tone. Her smile gently faded as want and need threatened to claim her.

Ivy leaned forward.

"So what's this big, important thing that you so desperately need to tell me?"

_That I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life in your arms…_

Harley sighed gently as she chewed on her lower lip. She nodded to herself and took a steadying breath.

"Rose works fer Mistah J."

Ivy glared at the blonde as her words did little to affect her.

"What? Don't be silly." Ivy scoffed. "I know you're jealous and all, but…"

"It's not just that!" Harley interjected. "It's true! Look, I have proof!" She reached around to her back pocket and felt for the note she had pick pocketed from Rose not long ago. Her hand fished inside the denim compartment, only to come out empty. She tried her other pockets, but nothing materialized. Frustrated, Harley released a groan of irritation. This couldn't be happening.

It suddenly dawned on her. The fat man bumping into her…he must have been one of Joker's men too. He reclaimed the note! Now she didn't have any proof whatsoever.

Ivy simply tapped her foot on the ground with her arms still crossed; awaiting the evidence she was promised.

Harley could do nothing but hang her head in shame, cursing her luck. Her eyes were growing red and puffy from frustration. The redhead took notice and placed her index finger under her chin and forced her face up. They were eye to eye.

"Harley…" Ivy began softly. "It's alright, really. I can't say I really believe you, but I don't think any less of you for it. Just let it go."

Harley shook her head and looked away.

"I can't, because it's true. I'm tryin' to protect ya here, and you just pat my head and tell me everythin' is cool." She sniffled once before continuing. "I just want…" She trailed off.

"Want what?"

Again, Harley shook her head.

"Harley," Ivy said firmly. "What do you want?" Her heart thumped away from the question escaping her own lips. She desperately wanted to hear that one word that would set her heart ablaze in a conflagration of hope and desire.

Blue met green as the word threatened to spill out. It was on the tip of her tongue, screaming for release. Her body trembled in anticipation, and with Ivy within such close proximity, she couldn't contain it any longer. She licked her lips, placed her arms on Ivy's shoulders, leaned in close and whispered the one word she had been dying to shout from the rooftops for so long.

"You".

Harley's lips crashed into Ivy's with a fevered ferocity that she did not know existed. Ivy, not anticipating the sudden move, gasped into Harley's lips. The shock only lasted but a second, and soon the redhead found herself returning the kiss with equal enthusiasm. Harley's arms wrapped tighter around her neck as Ivy's own appendages clutched at her hips, sealing their bond. They continued in this manner for several long minutes until the need for oxygen was too much for either woman to deny any longer. They broke apart for only as long as they needed for a few breaths, and then returned right where they had left off with increased vehemence.

"_Stop you fool! Remember the plan! It isn't time yet." _Ivy's mind screamed at her.

She continued to massage her lips against Harley's as tongues duelled for dominance.

"_Aw c'mon, you remember the plan, right? Yeah? The plan…uh…"_

Harley's hand slid into Ivy's, squeezing it as they used the opposite wall for support.

"_Plan…remember…pl…heh, she's purdy. Good kisser. Kissy kissy. Yeah."_

Ivy moaned into Harley's mouth as the blonde gripped the back of her head.

"_Derp…two plus two is five. Yay!" _Her brain had officially stopped making any sense whatsoever, but at this point, Ivy couldn't have cared less. She was nearing the point of emotional collapse; the façade of her so-called master plan had been far more taxing than she could have ever anticipated.

With a reckless abandon that surprised even her, Ivy channelled her pent-up frustration from the past few days into the kiss as her hand untangled itself from Harley's and slipped it beneath the hem of the blonde's shirt. The sudden contact on her flesh caused the blonde to release a small squeak as she finally broke away from Ivy's luscious lips.

"Red…" Harley's voice was ragged and hoarse as she resisted the urge to dive into another kiss. "What're you doin'?" She pawed futility at her hand, not really wanting to disrupt its action.

"What does it look like?" Ivy muttered as her lips found the tender flesh of Harley's neck. She planted a series of gentle kisses there and released a light chuckle as Harley squirmed in her arms, obviously enjoying the action.

"Here, though? C'mon, we…we can't…" she panted as Ivy's hand worked its way up her slender frame.

The redhead sighed in annoyance. "Why the hell not?" she grumbled into Harley's neck, never removing her lips from the skin she was currently involved with.

"Let's go…home and do this…not here…" Harley managed to stutter out, but even in her current state, she knew that she sounded completely unconvincing and unable to resist the green woman's advances. As Ivy prepared her next course of action, reality once again decided to step in.

"HEY!" A high-pitched voice suddenly shouted as heavy footsteps made their way towards the two. "You can't be in here!"

Ivy quickly removed her hand from under the blonde's shirt as the women reluctantly broke apart, both faces flushed and bodies trembling. Harley immediately turned her head toward the interloper as Ivy scowled viciously, silently cursing both herself and the source of the disruption.

"What the hell do you want, huh?" Harley shouted angrily as she took a step toward the man. She was beyond furious.

The man crossed his arms in front of his chest and narrowed his eyes in defiance. "I just told you lady, you can't be in here. I could call the cops and have you arrested for trespass-…"

"Blah, blah, blah!" Harley quickly interjected, rolling her eyes while placing a fist on her hip. "If I was a'scared of the fuzz, I wouldn't last five seconds in my line'a work!" Harley then smirked and motioned over her shoulder with her thumb. "If I was you, I'd be more worried about the pissed off redhead behind me. I might shoot ya, but her plant babies'll swallow ya alive and digest ya slowly…and enjoy every second of it!"

Rather than showing any fear whatsoever, the man remained cemented in place, daring Harley to make a move. "Riiiiiight," he drawled, raising an eyebrow in the process. "Well, you tell your imaginary plant-friend's kids that threatening a mall employee is against the law too…but since reporting your threats requires hours of paperwork, I'm giving your crazy ass one chance to leave before I force you out." He pointed to the exit the two women had used to gain entry to the storage area. The man's action caused Harley to nod to herself and crack her knuckles.

"Red baby, I think it's time we showed this rube how we do things, huh?" Harley stood in an aggressive stance, expecting some sort of agreement to come from the woman behind her. When only silence followed, the blonde's maniacal smirk slowly faded out. The employee just shook his head and sighed.

"_Red?" _Harley whirled around and nearly burst into tears at the moment she realized that Ivy was nowhere to be seen. Her heart sank deep into her chest as a wave of sadness washed over her, and she was just about to break down completely when she noticed a small message scrawled into the layer of dust that coated a nearby table…

**Café Gotham**

**One hour**

**Be there or be square**

"Ugh, you wanna keep playin' this stupid game, huh?" Harley grumbled out loud as she destroyed the message with a swipe of her hand. "Well okay, but I'm gonna put an end to this crap once and for all! I just need to make a little stop first…" With the man now completely forgotten, Harley wandered over to the entrance she had used with Ivy and slipped back out into the daunting crowds. The employee was quick to follow her and securely lock the door the instant she was gone.

"Damn crazy bimbos, why do they always come on my shift, huh?" he snarled to himself as he began to leave the way her came when he was satisfied that no one else would be able to use the door. "I could've joined the marines, but noooooo, I had to stay here and deal with nut jobs…I need a stiff drink…" His mutterings slowly faded out down the hall as he made his way back to where he came from.

Not ten feet from where they were standing, a redhead desperately attempted to catch her breath from behind a large white sheet. Such unbound passion was something she had never experienced before, and she still couldn't believe that she had succumbed to it. It wasn't as though she regretted it…quite the opposite, really. She wanted more. She craved more, and come hell or high water, she was going to get it.

After finally catching her breath, she made her way over to the only door in the room and unlocked it. Before she slid out, she cast a menacing glare down the hallway in which the employee had disappeared . "Call Harley a bimbo, hm?" she whispered under her breath in a tone seething with hatred, "You can be certain that I will be seeing you later. In the meantime, enjoy your final days in your minimum wage retail world." Ivy smirked to herself momentarily, but quickly regained her sombre expression. She hadn't the faintest clue as to what Harley was planning, but in all likelihood, it would be capable of shaking the very foundation of Gotham City.

**A/N:** **I'm actually surprised by the length of this chapter, but I think it turned out pretty good. Did you like the new ending too? If not, your flames do nothing but empower me. :3**


	8. HANDS OFF!

**A/N****: No, despite what many people think, this story has not been abandoned. I've had a lot of problems trying to piece this chapter together, so I hope it was worth the wait. Oh, and 'Café Gotham' is a fictional establishment I created for the sake of the story.**

**HANDS OFF!**

Chapter Seven: HANDS OFF!

Poison Ivy sighed wearily for the umpteenth time that day as she shifted positions in the passenger seat of Rose's BMW. The tan leather seat she found herself in was less than comfortable despite its creator's obvious attention to fine detail and craftsmanship, and with each passing moment, she grew increasingly agitated with the situation she now found herself in. The crystal-clear memory of her and Harley's escapade in the mall's storeroom was still as fresh as the lingering flavour of bubblegum on her luscious lips that the blonde has unwittingly left her. Every now and then, Ivy's sharp tongue would dart out, capture a miniscule amount of the essence, and retreat in a flash. The flavour would quickly dissolve into nothingness on the tip of her tongue as she savoured it, much like the experience the two rogues had shared not long before. Although the experience had felt like it had lasted an eternity at the time it actually happened, in reality, the kiss had only lasted a few short seconds. It was just enough to sate Ivy's overwhelming lust for the time being, but small doses of Harley were not nearly enough for her overall satisfaction. Her 'small snacks', as saw them, would not do. The way she saw it, she was long overdue for the main course.

Now, as Rose skilfully navigated through the hectic Gotham city rush hour traffic from the driver's seat, Ivy considered the fact that she was once again completely dependant on Harley to begin the next stage of whatever plan she was working on. What happened next was entirely up to the blonde, as Ivy had supplied her with the information regarding her next whereabouts, but little else. Ivy had no idea how the next event would unveil itself and transpire, and the thought of such disturbed the plant goddess. Ivy knew that Harley didn't exactly have the best track record of successful plans attached to her career, having several of her own brilliant ploys accidentally foiled by the clown girl during the numerous times they worked together. Combine that fact with how unpredictable and unstable Harley's personality was, and you have a recipe that could spell disaster for her entire scheme. Although the thought of being thrown back in Arkham as a result of Harley's antics bothered her, it was a risk she was more than willing to take, and she was confident that the blonde would come through in the end. This wasn't some half-assed bank job, after all…it was a matter of the heart, and everyone that knew Harley as well as she did was aware of how seriously she took such things.

One phrase kept repeating itself over and over in Ivy's mind; one that she was certain that she wasn't supposed to hear.

"_I'm gonna put an end to this crap once and for all! I just gotta make a little stop first…"_

Ivy was busying herself imagining the various implications that could have when she realized that the car had stopped and Rose was speaking to her…or attempting to, at least.

"So what was up with that blonde girl at the mall?" Rose asked as she stared out the windshield in front of her. Her car, along with countless other vehicles, idled noisily as they waited impatiently for the traffic light a few car lengths ahead of them to turn green. "She was the same one from the other night, right? Why would she be following you around?"

Ivy shook her head without responding as she continued to look out her own window. Her eyes met with the driver of the pickup truck stopped next to them, and she wrinkled her nose in disgust as the bearded man noticed, ogled her for a moment, then shot her a wink accompanied by a smile full of crooked teeth in various stages of decay. Shuddering to herself, the redhead turned in her seat to face forward, muttering profanities all the while.

Rose, unsatisfied with Ivy's silence, resumed her prodding. "I still can't believe she would just start singing in front of everyone like that!" She carefully monitored Ivy's body language with her peripheral vision, gauging her reactions as to not overstep her boundaries. "What a song to pick, too. Where do you figure she thought that up?"

"You ask a lot of stupid questions, you know that?" Ivy mumbled, casting an icy glare at her driver.

Rose just shrugged off the comment and went silent for a moment. The truth was that she knew exactly who Harley was…her new 'employer' spelled that out quite clearly for her. Harley and Ivy's history had also been revealed to her, and although she already knew that Ivy worked with someone from time to time even before Joker's interrogation and reformation, she had no idea that it ran as deep as it did. All of that, however, was irrelevant. All that mattered to Rose now was completing the task laid out for her. With her very life at stake, self-preservation was her only concern, and emptying a clip into Ivy's chest would be a small price to pay for her own freedom. Joker had promised her protection from any retaliation from Harley as well, so long as she left the blonde uninjured. Rose wasn't exactly sure what he had planned for the clown girl, but she really didn't care. The less she knew, the safer she would be…or so she thought.

"You have to admit, she didn't exactly do that song justice," Rose resumed the one-sided conversation, earning a sigh from her passenger. "If she's willing to do that in front of all those people, she must be seriously screwed up in the head. Heh, someone should start fitting her for a chin strap and straight jacket A.S.A.P!" Rose chuckled lightly before going silent and mentally face palming, the realization of what she had just said sinking in too little too late. Aware of how dangerous Ivy could be, she grimaced and gripped the steering wheel with both hands in anticipation of how the redhead may or may not react. Still in gridlock from the excruciatingly long red light, Rose had nowhere to flee and was at her mercy.

A low, infuriated moan escaped Ivy's lips as her entire body instantly stiffened. From out of the corner of her eye, Rose could see the muscles of Ivy's jaw clenched so tight that she was certain that the redhead was mere seconds away from shattering her teeth. Her entire body trembled from barely suppressed wrath, and her sexy eyes, normally soft and seductive, were quickly turning into sunken portals of murderous rage that nearly possessed the ability to strip foolish humans of their eternal souls with a single glance. Before Rose could issue any type of apology, Ivy's pointed nails dug into the soft leather seat she was sitting on, puncturing and shredding the upholstery with little effort on her part. White stuffing poked out from the large, jagged cuts in the seat as Ivy's hand continued to destroy the fine interior until her hand was balled into a shaking fist.

Rose stared wide-eyed at the scene of destruction, her mouth gaped wide open. Her mind, finally breaking through its self-constructed barrier of fear, was about to say something she would have probably regretted, but a blast from a car horn snapped her attention towards her windshield. The traffic light had turned green and the column of cars in front of them had begun to rumble forward, so, after wiping a layer of sweat from her brow, Rose slowly accelerated forward and exhaled a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.

As Ivy's body slowly relaxed and the red veil of rage cleared from her vision, she couldn't help but smirk to herself as she ran her fingers over the newly decorated leather seat. _"That one was for you, Harl," _Ivy thought as they continued towards Café Gotham.

Not surprisingly, the rest of the trip was made in complete silence.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The traffic quickly thinned out as Rose pulled off the main downtown strip and began her trek down a rather generic side street. It was on this road, the name of which escaped her, that the café was located. The owner of the establishment, a thin, balding immigrant with old world traditions, had certainly done his research in the hopes of finding a successful location. The quaint café was close enough to the heart of the city to allow droves of citizen's easy access to his delicious wares, but at the same time, it had distanced itself enough to give the illusion of a small-town shop that everyone seemed to love and enjoy. The owner had also purchased some of the surrounding land and, after spending a small fortune on advertising, he converted his property into a tranquil oasis right in the heart of the city. While many of Gotham's rogues had the hapless owner on their hit lists as a result of making his face known throughout the city, Giorgio Imperiolli and his son Anthony were doing quite well in the coffee business for the time being.

Rose finally pulled into one of several vacant parking spaces in front of the building and, after stopping the car and pulling the key from the ignition, she sighed despairingly as she cast her gaze skyward. The dreary grey skies that had dumped untold volumes of rain on the city earlier in the day had finally cleared, and as she rummaged through her car's various compartments in hopes of finding her sunglasses, Ivy quickly exited through the passenger side door to fully embraced the sunlight. She stood and smiled widely as the sun's warming rays penetrated every pore on her lovely face, but her temporary state of bliss was quickly cut short as Rose slammed her door and rounded the car.

"Man, could that sun get any brighter?" Rose exclaimed as she adjusted her oversized sunglasses. The plastic frame was slightly warped and didn't quite fit her face properly, but she wore them as though her eyes would dissolve into murky puddles of ocular fluids should they be removed.

Ivy scoffed and crossed her arms. "The sun feels absolutely wonderful. You should take a moment to enjoy it, since it doesn't make a habit of showing itself in this city very often." Her eyes darted this way and that, scanning the sparsely populated street in search of her blonde quarry, but when she came up empty, she sighed. The redhead knew she needed to stall to buy Harley some time to unleash whatever she had planned, but she was running low on ideas. Also, Ivy couldn't help but notice how anxious Rose seemed to be to leave the street and get inside. This perplexed her to some degree, but she quickly blamed her paranoia on the obscene amounts of stress she was suffering from.

After placating Ivy for a few long seconds, Rose rubbed her temples and turned down the long laneway that lead up to the building and motioned towards it. "Come on already, I'm starting to get a headache." Her attitude was quickly turning sour, and the more she attempted to keep up her façade, the more on edge she became. She was about to open the door and enter when she heard Ivy's voice from behind her.

"You know," Ivy said matter-of-factly as she lingered behind and knelt down to examine a healthy piece of foliage, "most people curse the amount of rain Gotham receives, but if you ask me, it's probably the only pleasant thing this city has to offer…" Her voice trailed off as a loving finger gently caressed one of the plant's soft leaves. After realizing Ivy wasn't even talking to her, Rose simply shook her head and pushed on the metal handle of the door and entered the structure.

Upon hearing the jingling of bells indicating that Rose had gone inside, Ivy quickly stood and took one last gaze around the area. Like before, there were very few people in the immediate area. Mighty trees swayed in the afternoon breeze and birds hopped from one branch to the next in search of a mid-day snack, but still the blonde eluded her sight. "Whatever you have planned, you better do it soon," Ivy mumbled as she turned and entered the café. In her haste, she didn't even hear the soft giggle coming from the opposite side of Rose's car

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The café, by most people's standards, was not large at all. A dozen or so steel tables littered the open areas to either side of the single entrance in an unorganized fashion, with some placed near the large open windows located on the same wall as the door. The old wooden floorboards, worn from years of neglect, creaked beneath customer's feet. The same wood, in both color and style, made up the ceiling and walls, and it truly gave the impression that the business came straight out of the old country. The only real modern touch was the spotless ordering area, complete with glass display case full of desserts and pastries. Behind the counter were several varieties of coffee machines and tea bags, and to the far left was a door that lead to the back room.

The place was fairly busy, with several of the tables occupied by young and old alike. A large group of teenagers occupied two of the tables on the far side of the room, and two elderly women sat nearby, sipping tea from antique chinese cups. Despite the crowd, there was no line to order, and both Ivy and Rose strode up to the counter. There they stood silently, purposely avoiding both conversation and eye contact. They had only waited several seconds before Ivy slammed her fist down onto the counter and leaned over it.

"HEY!" she shouted in the direction of door leading to the back room, "Hurry up back there! You want me to make my own coffee or something?!"

A thin bald man quickly scampered out and plastered on an embarrassed smile. "So sorry, ma'am! My hearing is, how you say, not so good anymore!" He lightly tapped the side of this head with his palm and released a practiced laugh, hoping to lighten the mood. When Ivy's deadpanned expression didn't flinch, his face drooped slightly. "So, I'm Giorgio, what can I get you pretty ladies today?"

Rose forced a chuckle and removed her sunglasses. She glanced over the counter at the various choices of coffee and examined them for a moment before finally placing her order of a medium classic blend with two milk and one sugar. The man cheerfully fulfilled her request, then shrank back slightly as he made eye contact with Ivy. He held eyes with her for what seemed like an eternity.

"Do you have anything here that wasn't ripped from the bosom of Mother Nature for the purposes of profit and consumption?" Ivy inquired as she leaned forward slightly, tapping her index finger on the counter. Her eyes focused intensely on the small man, who in turn seemed to be unable to speak. As the silence wore on, Ivy became slightly irate, but managed to keep a relatively calm demeanour. "Look, just get me a diet coke, alright? Sometime today, if that's alright with you."

"Yes, yes, of course!" He quickly ducked behind the counter and pulled a bottle out from the cooler. He then plunked it down on the counter and held his hands up. "We have, see? You take and enjoy!"

Ivy snatched the bottle from the counter and strolled past Rose and headed towards a seat at a nearby secluded table. "Pay the man," she ordered in Rose's direction, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder.

"Hey, for pretty redhead, no charge!" Giorgio called from his position behind the counter. His gaze then left Ivy and centered on Rose. "For you, three dollars." Rose cringed as boisterous laughter rang out from Ivy's table, and all she could do was sigh as she reached for her wallet.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Alrighty, I think that about does it!" Harley Quinn whispered to no one in particular as she poked her head over the roof of Rose's BMW. Her blue eyes examined the café's door intently, searching for any sign that either Ivy or Rose was preparing to exit the establishment. Satisfied that no one was coming out, she bounded over the hood and dashed towards an alleyway on the side on the building. She was slightly burdened by the large purple and green duffel bag she had slung over her shoulder, but with the majority of its contents now emptied, she moved once again with the speed and grace that she was notorious for. Before long, she found herself leaning against the side of the building, grinning and rubbing her hands together in anticipation for what she had planned for the blonde bitch that dared to stand between her and Ivy.

"_It sure was lucky that Joker had a hidden stockpile of stuff nearby,_" Harley thought as she knelt down to take inventory of the few remaining items she still had in her possession. "_I'm sure he won't notice the stuff missin', plus I think I'm doin' him a favour by clearin' out some of my own things." _Unzipping the bag, she glanced momentarily inside it before nodding and closing it back up after grabbing a large grey item. While at Joker's safe house, she had exchanged her street clothes for one of her classic costumes, carefully storing Ivy's gifted garments within the bag. As she had slipped the costume on within the derelict storehouse, Harley remembered noting the material's low quality in comparison to the hand-crafted outfit that awaited her back at the botanical gardens. Although she had worn this particular costume many times in the past with no complaint, it now felt itchy and tight, like she didn't belong in it. Was it yet another sign that her life with Joker was over? Possibly. Harley wasn't sure, and she didn't waste any time considering it as she stood up and slung the bag back over her shoulder.

The bells placed above the entrance to the café jingled wildly as the door swung open and a blonde woman stepped out onto the concrete entranceway. She paused momentarily to speak a few unheard words back into the shop, then began to walk down the sidewalk in the direction of the black BMW. Harley's eyes narrowed as she watched Rose from around the corner, her fingers tightening into fists to either side of her. The other blonde unlocked the passenger side door and swung it open, immediately opening the glove box after she was in.

Harley dropped the duffel bag to the cement and took several steps forward in preparation of ambushing Rose while her attention was elsewhere. She could do it quick and silently, and although that really wasn't her style, she wanted to end the whole game that Ivy had created as soon as possible.

She was no more than three steps away from her prey when Rose suddenly pulled the top half of her body out from the car, apparently finding what she had been looking for. Harley stopped dead in her tracks as Rose held up and examined a silver revolver in plain view, still completely unaware of the presence of the clown girl behind her. After deciding everything was fine with the gun, she tucked it inside her purse. By the time Rose had turned her head to check her surroundings, Harley had already sought refuge behind the truck of a large tree, effectively concealing herself from view. Harley released a breath as she heard the car door slam shut and footsteps began making their way back to the café.

"_Crap, I'm almost out of time! She's gonna waste Ivy any minute now!" _Harley bolted back to the alley and unzipped the bag a second time. This time, her gloved fingers tightened around the object she was looking for, and she couldn't suppress a grin as she withdrew her beloved .45 magnum from the bag. The chrome finish of the weapon glinted in the afternoon sunlight as she checked the chamber and cocked the hammer back. _"Alright, let's do this."_

Harley made her way over to a door located on the side of the building and knocked repeatedly.

"Sorry, entrance is on the front of the building!" a young male voice called out from the other side.

"Special delivery!" Harley called out cheerfully. "You gotta come out and get it!"

A few seconds of silence passed.

"We're not expecting any deliveries today!" the voice finally answered.

Harley pounded on the door again, this time quicker and more violently. "I know you're not, that's why it's a _special _delivery, duh! You've had this coming for a while now, so open up!" The blonde knew that Joker had this particular establishment on his list of places to knock off, so she wasn't lying…not entirely, anyway.

The door quickly swung open and a thin young man clad in a baker's apron and beige clothing took a half step out the door. "Okay, what exactly is it tha-MMPH!" A red hand clamped over the man's mouth as Harley immediately seized control on him. She forced him back through the door with the barrel of the magnum placed squarely against his forehead, and Harley balanced herself on one foot and shut the door with the other. It didn't take long before the man's wide eyes had large streams of tears flowing from them, and they alternated between the clown girl's own blue ones and the wide grin that threatened to split her face in two.

"Here's how this 'special delivery' is gonna work," Harley whispered in her newfound hostage's ear, pressing the tip of the gun's barrel slightly harder against his forehead. "You're not gonna scream or cry or panic or ANYTHING, see? If you can keep super quiet, I won't give your walls here a new paint job. Sound good?"

The man continued to sob in silence, unwilling or unable to respond.

"I don't need to kill you, but I don't need you alive either," Harley growled as she forced him against a steel cabinet. "Just do as I say and you'll walk outta here under your own power, 'kay? If not, I promise they'll have to fingerprint you, since there won't be enough of your face left to make a positive I.D." Her finger slowly migrated into the gun's guard and tightened around the trigger.

The terrified man shook his head violently from side to side as he watched her fingers move.

"So you ready to listen?" Harley asked nonchalantly.

He nodded hastily.

"Cool, but remember…you make noise and I'll make a lot more." She motioned her head towards the revolver. "I'm gonna move my hand now, kay? You can talk, but hush hush." She removed the barrel from his forehead and held it up to her black lips in a shushing motion. "Sshh…"

The man nodded again, but contorted his face into an expression of fear as the tip of the large handgun returned to his brow. Harley slowly pulled her hand back and wiped the man's saliva and tears off on his shirt with a look of disgust.

"Take your finger off the t-trigger," the baker begged in a hushed tone the instant her hand was clear.

"Nah," Harley said dismissively. "So what's your name?"

"A-Anthony…please…t-the trigger…" His sobs intensified as the pressure of the gun barrel increased on his forehead.

"I said no," the blonde snarled. "Who's in charge here, you or me?"

"Y-you."

Harley's smile brightened. "That's right, I am." He released the pressure of the gun barrel, but kept it firmly in place, her finger still dancing over the cold metal trigger. "Who else is in here with you?"

"J-just my papa. He owns the place, and I w-work for him," he whispered between hiccups.

"That's it? Just you and him?"

"Yes."

"What's his name?"

"Giorgio."

"Great! That makes things really easy then." Harley grabbed the front Anthony's shirt and guided him over to the door of a small walk-in freezer. "You're a good kid, you know that? Before I let you go, there's just ooooone more thing I need ya to do for me, kay?"

"Sure, a-anything you want, ma'am." He smiled, but it quickly faded as Harley slid open the metallic freezer door. "Uh…" The artificial cold air swirled around the two, and he began shaking uncontrollably as his terrified eyes met with Harley's.

"Here's what I want you to do…" Harley positioned Anthony in front of the open entranceway. "I want you to _SCREAM._" The blonde pulled the revolver back as she slammed her boot down on Anthony's foot with horrendous precision. As the bones of the young man's foot crackled and splintered, he released a lung-emptying shriek of pain as he tumbled backwards into the freezer. After chuckling at the sight of the kid writhing about on the frozen floor in a puddle of his own urine, she slammed the door shut and sealed his fate.

The scream, while ear-splitting, only lasted a second or two before it was silenced by the sound proof door. The brutal attack was not just a random act of violence, however. Harley knew that both Ivy and Rose were only a few feet away, and she needed to draw this 'Giorgio' character out without having her presence discovered by either of the two. Fortunately, the scream apparently did the trick.

"ANTHONY!" an accented voice bellowed from an unseen area of the shop. "What did you drop on your foot this time, huh?!" The voice got louder as Giorgio made his way towards the stock room. "If you're hurt, no time off! This isn't a charity, you know!"

Harley suppressed a giggle from the irony it all as pressed herself flat against the wall in preparation of getting the drop on the owner. Just as she predicted, Giorgio stomped right past her in search of his son. She quickly made her way behind him and readied her firearm.

"Anthony? Where did you go?" He looked around the room for any sign of him, but came up empty. He was about intensify his search when a tap on his shoulder caused him to whirl around and come face to face with Harley Quinn. She jabbed the barrel of the revolver into his stomach and made the same shushing motion with her finger as she did with Anthony.

"He's chillin' out, but don't worry, he's still alive. Now, if you wanna keep it that way, you're gonna do EXACTLY what I say, got it?" Harley said quietly.

In his shocked state, Giorgio could only nod.

"Great! Now, all you need to do is go out there and-"

A shrill scream erupted from beyond the doorway that Giorgio had come from. The single screech quickly multiplied as panic began to consume the little café. As terrified citizens flocked to the doorway, one loud booming voice could heard above the alarm and confusion. What he said caused Harley's heart to begin beating furiously within her chest.

"ITS POISON IVY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Curiosity getting the better of her, the blonde crept over to the door and peered out into the dining area to get a better idea of exactly what was going on. Harley knew this was a very risky move; anyone who's ever spent any time at all in Gotham City would instantly recognize the red and black costume she was notorious for wearing, but she just couldn't resist. What she saw nearly caused her to collapse into a fit of giggles.

Ivy was seated at a table close to the doorway from which Harley was spying from, her mouth open and her eyes wide in confusion and disbelief from the scene developing all around her. People literally climbed over one another to escape, as if they would be infected with an incurable disease should they remain in the same vicinity as the plant goddess. She had done nothing to give her identity away, and although her face was well known throughout the city, her skin color serum altered her appearance enough to allow her to blend into a crowd. She simply didn't understand what had happened.

The café quickly emptied out, leaving only the three women, the shop owner and his near-frozen son.

"What the hell happened?" Ivy exclaimed, looking around the vacated premises. "How did they know it was me?"

Rose suppressed a smirk as she quietly took a sip of her coffee. It wasn't a surprise to her as to why the masses fled, but she could understand why Ivy had no idea. In reality, she had just done her a great service and made her assassination plot that much more simple to execute. After she set her cup down, she picked up a shiny chrome napkin dispenser and handed it to the redhead. "See for yourself."

Ivy took the item from her and caught sight of her reflection within the dispenser's polished surface. She stared hard at the image, her mouth gaping as she took in what she saw. Large emerald blotches had appeared all over her face, obvious indications that her serum was quickly wearing off. Her nose had reverted back to it's original color, and the longer she stared, the more green showed through. Dropping the makeshift mirror, Ivy rolled the sleeves of her sweater up. As with her face, large green splotches dotted both of them in various locations, growing larger and more vibrant as the seconds ticked away.

"Well, I suppose that's that," Ivy mused as the final remnants of her artificial skin color vanished completely into a sea of green. "I'm surprised it lasted as long as it did."

As Harley gazed upon the green woman's flesh, a dizzying sensation threatened to overwhelm her. Her knees suddenly became weak as they trembled from anticipation of what she wanted. The object of her every desire was now near her once again, and it took everything she had not to scream out the redhead's name and leap at her. _"Wait, what am I thinking?" _Harley thought to herself as her eyes raked over Ivy's sexy frame, _"This is the PERFECT time to do that!"_

Harley snuck back into the stockroom and faced Giorgio, who was more confused than ever.

"Alright, I'm givin' you ONE chance to get your kid and leave, kay?" Harley quickly whispered to the man, who nodded feverishly. She pointed the large revolver at the freezer, then to the door leading outside. "He's in the freezer. Go get 'im and make yourselves gone. You should probably get him to a hospital or something, but if you EVER tell the cops or Batman what happened here today, I'll be back to return the favour. I can make life really hard for you, or death really easy. Up to you."

"B-but…" the man stuttered, panic rising in his voice, "Can we ever come back?"

"Tonight, after sundown. Now get outta here before I change my mind!"

Not waiting to see what Giorgio would do next, Harley returned to the doorway, revolver still in hand. She was prepared to blow Rose away as a final testament to her devotion for Ivy, but what she saw caused her to freeze in her tracks. Ivy had her arm outstretched, and Rose was staring intently at her skin, her face no more than a few inches from it. Both her slender hands gripped the green arm at different locations. Ivy's expression was one of unusual serenity as she went into detail about the entire pigment-altering process.

Now, upon seeing the contact between Ivy and Rose, something happened inside Harley that went far beyond the reaches of both science and religion. It started small and almost unnoticeable, but when exposed to what Harley was witnessing, it quickly began to grow, swelling up within the lithe blonde girl's frame until she was in danger of bursting. The emotions churning within her added to its intensity until whatever was building up inside her became a furious firestorm of unbridled wrath and hatred absolute. While Harley was known for having a temper, this particular feeling, through rarely shown, was both feared and respected, and had the reputation of wiping out small South Pacific islands from the face of the earth when unleashed.

In a flash of red and black, Harley was at Rose's side, towering over her. The very air surrounding her seemed to crackle and pop from the barely contained intensity that was swirling from within her. Ivy noticed Harley before Rose did, but before the redhead could pull her hand from the rival blonde's grasp, Harley released the pressure that was now threatening to consume her in the form of a single sentence.

"_**GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!"**_

The sheer volume of the ear-piercing scream that erupted from Harley's delicate vocal chords literally shook the café's foundation and rattled the windows as Rose cried out in shock and tumbled out of her seat in a state of panic and confusion. Unable to compute what had just happened, Rose attempted to stand and run, only to be hurled against a nearby wall. She slammed into the wood with a sickening thud, and before she could react, a strong forearm pressed itself over her neck, effectively cutting off her oxygen supply. A hiss escaped Rose's throat as he struggled in vain against the unstoppable force that was Harley Quinn, but she soon found herself dizzy and unable to focus.

"I bet you think you're pretty slick, huh?" Harley whispered into Rose's ear as she increased pressure on her enemy's throat. "You wasted my time with Red for some stupid plan to kill her that you didn't have the guts to see through. Oh well, too late now." Rose shook her head and pawed weakly at Harley's arm, but quickly lost the will to resist any further. Harley couldn't help but smile. She had finally won the war.

It was then, after Harley's bloodshot eyes took in the sight of the life quickly slipping from her rival that an image flashed through her mind. She could still hear his piercing laughter ringing through her ears as he - the man whom she had devoted her life to pleasing - choked her. Destroyed her. Ruined her. The memory of his perfect teeth and pointed face haunted her. Is this what she had lowered herself to? The thought of herself becoming that which she now hated most in the world nearly made her instantaneously sick, and she suddenly lightened the pressure on Rose's neck in perhaps what was an act of mercy.

The woman collapsed to the floor, gasping for air, but before she could even move, Harley was on her again as she shoved the barrel of the revolver into her mouth, chipping one of Rose's front teeth in the process. The small piece of enamel popped out of her mouth and plinked on the floorboards several feet away.

"Listen to me VERY carefully, bitch," Harley said slowly as she twisted the gun around, making sure Rose paid very close attention to ever single word she had to say. "You're gonna get in that slutmobile of yours and drive until the engine blows up and the tires go flat. After your car is toast, you're going to get out and walk until your shoes are pounded flat and your knees are shot, okay?"

Rose nodded weakly, as if she had a choice to do otherwise.

Harley's voice darkened into a tone that she didn't even recognize anymore, and it literally sent a chill down Ivy's spine, who had been silently observing the scene play out. "Good, because if I EVER see you again, whether it be here in Gotham, in Metropolis, or on the friggin' moon, I will ruin you. I will strip you of everything you hold dear. You'll pray for death, but it won't give you sweet release until I devour and destroy your very _soul_. Remember that, because I sure will, and I swear I'll honour it until the day I die."

A tense silence filled the café. No one dared to speak, not even Harley. She simply stared down at her enemy with menacing hatred in her eyes. Slowly, she retracted the revolver from Rose's mouth and tossed it to the ground. She then rolled off Rose as Ivy silently knelt beside her, the green woman gently placing her hand on Harley's shoulder in an effort to comfort her. That was all it took for the blonde to turn into Ivy's body and wrap her arms tightly around the redhead's neck. There, as Ivy returned the gesture, Harley sobbed into her shoulder, finally releasing the remnants of emotional build-up that threatened to consume her. Ivy whispered words of comfort into her ear, helping to slowly stem the flow of tears.

Rose, in her delirious state, slowly rose to her feet and wobbled her way over to her purse. She dumped it's contents onto the table, and after taking a long look at the small revolver amidst the pile, she grabbed her car keys and staggered toward the exit with her hand covering her mouth, using the wall and tables to brace herself.

"Heh, guess it's back to therapy, huh? I don't even know where that stuff came from." Harley mumbled into Ivy's shoulder. "I'm one sick puppy."

"You've been under a lot of stress lately," Ivy cooed, running her fingers over Harley's back in circular patterns. "I should have never come up with that stupid plan. If I knew it would have ended this way, with you in this state…"

"Red, it's alright," Harley interjected as she pulled her face back from the redhead's shoulder. Her white makeup was nearly gone, most of which was now smeared all over Ivy's sweater. She tugged at her hood and removed it before she stood up and intertwined her fingers with Ivy's.

"No, it's not alright," the plant goddess said as she rose up with Harley. "It was very selfish of me."

The door jingled as Rose lurched through it.

Harley bit her lip as she leaned her streaked face to within an inch of Ivy. "You can make it up to me tonight if you want." She giggled as the redhead returned her suggestive expression with one of her own.

"Oh, may I?"

Harley nodded feverishly with a goofy smile.

"Well, I'll definitely need to take you up on that…but…this is it, right?" Ivy's gaze fell to the floor as she sighed. "After all this, if you leave me again, I…I don't think I can face rejection from you again."

Harley gave Ivy's hand a firm squeeze. "Red, I'm tellin' you now, that I promise to never leave your side again. Not now, not ever. It's just you and me from now on, I swear."

Ivy smiled and leaned in for a kiss, but Harley stopped her with a finger to her lips. "Before we do that, there's one thing you gotta do for me…"

"…and that is?"

"HIT THE DIRT!" Harley went down and, after flipping a table onto its side, she yanked Ivy down with her. The redhead released a yelp from the unexpected action as she tumbled to the ground.

"HARLEY! What the fu-"

Before she could even finish the obscenity, a deafening explosion rocked the café, shattering every single pane of glass in the establishment. A mighty fireball erupted skyward as jets of flame burst through the open gaps where the windows once were, scorching everything within the surrounding area. Smoke bellowed from outside as millions of shards of glass sprinkled the ground.

Harley was quick to jump her feet from behind the safety of their makeshift shelter, and upon seeing the burning object outside, she laughed wildly. She laughed long and hard, finally doubling over in pain as her stomach muscles tightened and strained from the unusual activity.

"That was AWESOME!" she finally exclaimed as she wiped a tear of glee from her eye.

Ivy, also unharmed from the blast, rose to her feet. Her ears still rung from the deafening explosion and she coughed from smoke inhalation, but she smoothed her ruffled hair down and joined the blonde. She glanced out the window at the object of Harley's mirth, and as her eyes took in the sight of the burning framework of a familiar BMW, she simply shrugged and turned back to her love.

Harley just grinned sheepishly and placed her arms around Ivy's neck again, this time pressing their foreheads together. "You didn't actually think I'd let her get away, did you? Car bombs always do the trick, and if anyone investigates, they'll think it was Joker's handiwork. Win-freakin' win, baby!"

Ivy chuckled and leaned into Harley's body. "You know, if something other than that happened, I'd probably be a little more surprised. Nice touch though. No loose ends to worry about." Their eyes met as their lips brushed over one other. "Now I think you owe me something."

Their lips met as they kissed for only a moment among the burning wreckage of the smoke-filled café. Before long, Harley pulled back and smirked. Before Ivy could question her action and resume the kiss, the blonde spoke.

"What say we continue this back home? We should probably get the hell outta here before B-man shows up to spoil our honeymoon." At this, Ivy laughed, the reality of the situation finally hitting her. Without even needing to speak, the two darted out the destroyed windows, hand in hand, and began the long journey home.

**A/N **: **I'd just like to state for the record that this is NOT the end of the story, but I hope this chapter was worth the wait.**


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